Perfect

Show me how to be a man
Cause I ain't perfect
I did some fucking dirt, but I know that it was worth it
And I probly don't deserve it, but I've put in so much work
But the work just isn't working, still act like a jerk
Still get lost in the thoughts of my own mind
Couple more hours in the zone just to kill time
We forgot to rewind, life on fast forward
Like tryna fight a fucking bull with a glass sword
Someone get the pastor
Bring em back soon
Cause I think I'm bout to snap give it back to em
Sick of getting stabbed in the back, gonna crack soon
Sick of always picking up the slack with a sad tune
Sick of being stuck, out of luck in a rut
I can't dig myself up out of here
And no one gives a fuck
All Alone on my own, I wander with my thoughts
I tear apart these threads of life and tie em all in knots

Maybe I feel like crying
Maybe it's something that you'll never know
You'll never know
Maybe I feel like dying
Maybe it's something that you'll never know
You'll never know

I see it when I sleep
Demons wrestle me in my dreams
Searching for the secrets that I keep
And they keep on telling me life is on repeat
Nothing's ever gonna change, take a fucking seat
Keep on pushing on
Angry and in service
I blackout when I'm nervous
I live with all the hurt in the circus
And I flirt with the thought that I just might have a purpose
But I really don't deserve it
And the truth is that I'm crying on the inside
Angry on the surface
I'm feeling kind of worthless
The furthest thing from perfect
And even though I'm hurting, I still continue working
I can't kill these thoughts in my head that are lurking
I can't wake up, I wish it was a dream
Cause the thoughts of reality are harder than they seem
In my mind do I know that I'll never be a winner?
I can't escape this life cause I'm nothing but a sinner

It's killing me man

Man, it's killing me man
Tearing down my walls, what the fuck am I supposed to do?
I'm shaking to the core and the anger's showing through
I cannot even focus cause I feel so fucking blue
Living the nightmare that follows from the sleep
Breaking my bones to provide security
What about respect or god damn loyalty?
What about the love of the fucking family?
What about the times?
The hours and the days?
The years have come and past, yet we threw them all away
Lost inside a silent haze, growing distant in the maze
The fact that anything is left leaves me standing here amazed
Blaze up another one
Go ahead, do it
Burn my fucking life away before I go get through it
Turn my back on everyone, I'm saying fucking screw it
Pull that fucking trigger man I think that I should do it
I am so mad I wanna fucking scream
And break down everything I love and tear apart my dreams
And I don't wanna socialize, I'm not that fucking social
I shouldn't be in public you can see it in my fucking eyes
Every night and day I tell myself it's just phase
It don't seem to matter not a bit how much I pray
Things just stay the fucking same
I'm getting tired of the games
Haunted by my demons they just will not seem to go away
Nothing's gonna change, the voices keep on telling me
I can see it perfectly, it's never gonna work for me
Singing in my head, screaming so compellingly
A melody of rage and confusion is developing