Idea of You

I gave you everything I had and more
Thought my persistence
Could break the distance
How could I ever be enough?
If we were in love then
How was I a disruption?

I'd press pause and wait around for you
Went through the motions
Till I got a hit
I know that if you wanted to you would
But you didn't
No more excuses

I tried my best to hide behind
Status quos and blurry lines
God knows those short lived sugar highs
Came with an even higher price
Either choice is difficult
Especially when it's no ones fault
To fall apart together
Or be broken apart

You filled my ears with silly love songs
(la la la la) Filled my camera roll with pictures
When I stare at smiling pictures
It's easy to be tricked
I was convinced I wasn't lonely
Through photos and fake smiles
It worked for quite a while
I just ignored all of the crying
But even tons of happy pictures
Don't equal happiness
I dismissed all of the torture
And focused on the bliss
I was biased so anxiety proved I was a fool
Now it's time to stop romanticizing
And tell the truth
I fell in love with the idea of you ooh ooh

I'm so done with insecurity
Constantly comparing
I know that isn't healthy
We both need to learn to love ourselves
Cause if you don't have that then
How can you love someone else?

All our effort went to waste
Cause you weren't willing to communicate
Does false hope mean you shouldn't stay?
I tried everything but you still went away
I felt used but I felt seen
Stuck in a state of in between
To be worried even though you're mine
Or be haunted when you're gone

You filled my ears with silly love songs
(la la la la) Filled my camera roll with pictures
When I stare at smiling pictures
It's easy to be tricked
I was convinced I wasn't lonely
Through photos and fake smiles
It worked for quite a while
I just ignored all of the crying
But even tons of happy pictures
Don't equal happiness
I dismissed all of the torture
And focused on the bliss
I was biased so anxiety proved I was a fool
Now it's time to stop romanticizing
And tell the truth
I fell in love with the idea of you ooh ooh

The idea of what we could've been
If you were here
If we erased all of the lonely nights and tears
If we'd run away or you had stayed
Now all I have are plans we made
I wish you meant it when you promised me your years

You filled my ears with silly love songs
(la la la la) Filled my camera roll with pictures
When I stare at smiling pictures
It's easy to be tricked
I was convinced I wasn't lonely
Through photos and fake smiles
It worked for quite a while
I just ignored all of the crying
But even tons of happy pictures
Don't equal happiness
I dismissed all of the torture
And focused on the bliss
I was biased so anxiety proved I was a fool
Now it's time to stop romanticizing
And tell the truth
I fell in love with the idea of you ooh ooh

I was in love with the idea of you