heroine

I'm falling
I'm falling again

It's the Dope Show that I'm starring in
Oh no, not again
Battle-tested, but it's hard to win
Broke the stitches upon my skin
I lost
Too much of a cost
Not much that I spend
Courtesy of my friends
It's my fault

Habits, behavior-patterns. I had to sustain some balance
It actually made me crash and go back to the same disastrous
Things that I promised in the past would remain in caskets
What a revival. I grabbed a shovel and dug up the bodies
Under the piles of dirt. They lay in the attic
I hid them more than the truth of this chain-reaction
I look you in the face and wrap it. But, just know that I'll dangle backwards
I'm straight embarrassed & strangled by shame and half of it's

I'm isolated. Tryna' stay in
Touch with my family-tree
I lie awake and
Lie to fake that I'm happy

Chain-smoke until the day's over
Pray no one knows I ain't sober
Tryna' work with a faint motor
I've been hurt and ashamed. Closer
To my loved-ones I want to be. I've been stuck in this dungeon
With monsters that keep me company
Momma, why would you run from me
Now I sleep with your ashes inside my pillow
Right under these ugly dreams. I could fuckin' scream
I'm a fiend for disaster because it seems nothing keeps
Sadness from touching me. I relapse when the love is bleak
I collapse and pick up the phone just to have my Grandmother speak
Only that is the drug I seek
But, this hero's lacking his heroine
A bag full of heroin is so bad a comparison
I need you now more than ever

I'm isolated. Tryna' stay in
Touch with my family-tree
I lie awake and
Lie to fake that I'm happy

I'm falling
I'm falling