Hit the Switch - Companion Version

I'm staring out into that vacuum again
From the back porch of my mind
The only thing that's alive
I'm all there is

So, I started attacking my vodka
Stab the ice with my straw
My eyes have turned red as stoplights
You seem ready to walk

We know I'll call you eventually, when I wanna talk
'Til then you're invisible
'Cause there's this switch that gets hit
It all stops making sense

And in the middle of drinks
Maybe the fifth or the sixth
I'm completely alone at a table of friends
I feel nothing for them, I feel nothing, nothing

Well, I need a break from the city again
I think I'll ship myself back west
I got a friend there, she says
"Hey, sugar, any time"

Unless that offer's expired, I have been less than frequent
She's under no obligation to indulge every whim
And I'm so ungrateful, I take, she gives and forgives
I keep forgetting it

And each morning she wakes
With a dream to describe
Something lovely that bloomed
In her beautiful mind

I said, "I'll trade you one
For two nightmares of mine
I got some where I die
I got lots where we all die"

I'm thinking of quitting drinking again
I know I said that a couple times
And I'm always changing my mind
Well, I guess I am

But there's this burning in my stomach
There's this pain in my side
And when I kneel at the toilet
And the morning's clean light
Pours in through the window
Sometimes I pray I don't die
I'm a goddamn hypocrite

But the night rolls around
It all starts making sense
There is no right way or wrong way
You just have to live

So, I do what I got to do
But at least I exist
What would mean more than this?
What would mean more, mean more?