Suffocate

Patiently waiting in plain pastel pink
Motel art of flowers and abstract things
I said 'look at me', not like this, I could scream
You're not so secret, you don't have to stare
I know I don't fit in, I'm quite well-aware
Do you need to see, should I tie back my hair?

Roll call and cold halls
I hear the pen scrawl my name and I know what that means
Wheelchairs and capped hair
Long stares and clean air that suffocates girls with big dreams

Pretty young thing with a pretty young face
Don't take advantage, I know my place
An hour, a year and a half set to wait

Roll call and cold halls
I hear the pen scrawl my name and I know what that means
Wheelchairs and capped hair
Long stares and clean air that suffocates girls with big dreams

My skin is crawling, good thing they'll cut it open soon
I'm far from floating, feet don't touch the ground in the waiting room
Do I make myself clear?
Funny how I like my water red
Can I stop it, can I calm it this year?
Heat in my hands, so they said

Roll call and cold halls
I hear the pen scrawl my name and I know what that means
Wheelchairs and capped hair
Long stares and clean air that suffocates girls with big dreams
Deep sighs and goodbyes
Side eyes from surprised patients just waiting to lie
Ringtones from old phones
New and improved bones healing themselves from inside

Third time around, the machine sounds
Nowhere to hide