Beneficial Thoughts

Never thought that
My words would
Be so spoken
Especially from the guy
Who's mind
Is truly broken
Looking in myself
Left my heart and soul
Open
So I have beneficial thoughts
To really have hope in

Super optimistic
Despite the look
In my eyes
Never disguised
I used to be the kid
Who lashed out
When they cried
See myself in the mirror
My reflection I despised
Because of frequent Disappointments
Asking why should I try

My self esteem low
And my self worth diminished
I feel like Finbar Calamitus
Cause I could never finish
I wanna wake up every morning
Hang myself
And just end it
But everything I've done
Will be for none
That's not what's intended

I'm a worried
Wounded
Warrior
Who bleeds out dedication
And learned about himself
Through drug
Induced revelations
So without an occupation
I'm feeling just like a patient
Surrounded by
Wants and thoughts
That could be considered latent

I thought life would be fun
Like ball
And cross overs
Until I almost lost my life
And crossed over
Finding new distractions
While I fail at
Being sober
Smoke and mirrors
Hide the demons
When they stay
Way past October

It's been a struggle
Being humble gave
Me some confidence
Learned about my
Awkward incompetence
Then put a stop in it
Nice in person
But I really will rock your shit
Astounded that
My mental health
Just needed some polishing
And guidance
Self reliance
Cause nobody's gonna help me
But me
Cut off most my friends
So now my pen
Will keep me company

Luckily
Something be
A disgusting beast
Who's in his mind
Discussing peace
Told insecurities
Not to fuck with me
Back then
I knew life would be troubling
Put faith inside myself
And now my dubs
Have been doubling
Still struggling
With marketing
And self promotion
Living in productive motion
Tryna solve my problems
While my happiness
Remains the quotient

Don't think I'm potent
I think my message is
Sad subject matter
Won't always be
In my sentences
But life is full of preferences
And I prefer to be happy
Even if I don't know
What that means exactly



Credits
Writer(s): Marco Rodriguez
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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