Memories In Smoke

Do you cry your heart out
Every time it hurts? Even if it's worse?
The streetlights guided our lives
In our petri dish world
A look from outside could've shown
That we had no view of our own

And that's how it goes
For every kid in these houses
Every fifth one the same
Every fifth one the same

It's no wonder why
We thought the way we did
We were so wrong
We needed the growth

It's no wonder why
We were just kids
Just kids
Learning our worth

I don't look at it wrong
(Let me feel it)
But sometimes it feels wrong
I don't like to shed tears
But it can feel a little lost

Hey it was weird right?
The way we used to get into fights?
And none of us knew
How far each of our wounds would go

We were looking for an out
Looking for an out
See none of us knew
How deep our wounds were
I guess it's just comfort
It's all we could've known

And I was hurting in those years
Clinging on to something
That wasn't for me
And I broke down those years
They were so hard
They were so hard

But I see them now
Through fractals and diamonds
Little flecks of light
Trickling out
Memories in smoke
Unable to be known
Truly as they were
And there's a fondness there
Through the mixture
Of the things we didn't tell each other
There's a fondness to that
Clouded half memory
Even if it's stained glass
With half truths

We we're kids
Learning to do what was best
Learning to do right
And I wish I could do it again
Better this time
But I don't want to relive those years
That hurt
And I could never do it differently

Without all the growth