Dear Beloved
I'm calling out to you
Do you think about me too
But that's a silly question
Don't know what it's like in heaven
It's been a couple years
Still can't believe you gone
The more I'm blowing up
The deeper that I fall
Wish I could show you what I done
And hear you say you proud
And I probably wouldn't be smoking all this fucking loud
You would be my company
All you had was love for me
Don't feel it now
Only bad vibes and bad energy
Mama pray for me
Demons got a hold on me
I quit the bottle I just need my water holy
And writing music is my spiritual remedy
And when I die I hope they tell 'em I was legendary
God speed
God's plan
I'm really him
I'm the man
Got it out the mud no one gave a hand
No one gave me shit not even a band
Toxic masculinity and post traumatic stress
Got to pick the pieces on my own I got to do the rest
I didn't see myself going through this kind of tragedy
When I heard the news
Oh I felt this sharp pain my chest
Proud or disappointed
Really torn between the two
Doesn't help that you not here
Cause I'd like to hear it straight from you
I been thinking about the times that I was rude
How I was petty too and I gave you attitude
My life changed in a moment in an instant
Keep fading from my memory we been distant
I can't put my heart on ice no more I got to listen
Got to find a way to fill my void
Something's missing
Life ain't been what it was
Ex thought I was a bust
All them days in the dust
A nigga had to adjust
Wild West in the desert
Through the back through the exit
How it felt when I came on the scene
Been killing it and I'm only 19
Nigga I'm just getting started
You feel the pain in my voice
I really been in the gutter
To the top making noise
I had to build my own ladder
I'm on the road to the Fendi jeans
Gucci, Louis and Prada
I remember when I lost my dad all my dreams were shattered
But now, to the top
To the moon
I don't care about where I'm at I'm the hottest in the room
I'm like a Lily around some thorns, right now my time to bloom
Like onomatopoeia
I'm blowing up, boom
Do you think about me too
But that's a silly question
Don't know what it's like in heaven
It's been a couple years
Still can't believe you gone
The more I'm blowing up
The deeper that I fall
Wish I could show you what I done
And hear you say you proud
And I probably wouldn't be smoking all this fucking loud
You would be my company
All you had was love for me
Don't feel it now
Only bad vibes and bad energy
Mama pray for me
Demons got a hold on me
I quit the bottle I just need my water holy
And writing music is my spiritual remedy
And when I die I hope they tell 'em I was legendary
God speed
God's plan
I'm really him
I'm the man
Got it out the mud no one gave a hand
No one gave me shit not even a band
Toxic masculinity and post traumatic stress
Got to pick the pieces on my own I got to do the rest
I didn't see myself going through this kind of tragedy
When I heard the news
Oh I felt this sharp pain my chest
Proud or disappointed
Really torn between the two
Doesn't help that you not here
Cause I'd like to hear it straight from you
I been thinking about the times that I was rude
How I was petty too and I gave you attitude
My life changed in a moment in an instant
Keep fading from my memory we been distant
I can't put my heart on ice no more I got to listen
Got to find a way to fill my void
Something's missing
Life ain't been what it was
Ex thought I was a bust
All them days in the dust
A nigga had to adjust
Wild West in the desert
Through the back through the exit
How it felt when I came on the scene
Been killing it and I'm only 19
Nigga I'm just getting started
You feel the pain in my voice
I really been in the gutter
To the top making noise
I had to build my own ladder
I'm on the road to the Fendi jeans
Gucci, Louis and Prada
I remember when I lost my dad all my dreams were shattered
But now, to the top
To the moon
I don't care about where I'm at I'm the hottest in the room
I'm like a Lily around some thorns, right now my time to bloom
Like onomatopoeia
I'm blowing up, boom
Credits
Writer(s): Chimanyi Dineo
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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