Price I Pay

I'm at a loss for words to explain
Why I am how I am today
Was it the chicken or the egg
That gave rise to my misery
When your world comes crashing down
In the most catastrophic way
Just 11 years old, all alone
And don't know what to say

I've had a lifetime filled with pain
From something I can't even remember
The way it pulses through my veins
Makes every drug feel like a pretender

I've been out here in the cold for so long
I'm the new ice age
I don't give a damn what you say anymore
I can't fall from grace
When everyone that you love
Turns your love into a world of hate
I hope there's no place left to hide
Lord knows there ain't been one for me

I've had a lifetime filled with pain
From something I can't even remember
The way it pulses through my veins
Makes every drug feel like a pretender
And every nerve is wrecked with shame
From seeing nothing but a monster every day
It's just the price I pay

It's all coming to an end
There's a sense in the air you can taste
Judgment Day for us all
Should be having to live this way
When your world comes crashing down
In the most catastrophic way
Just 11 years old
Fuck you
I don't know what to say

I've had a lifetime filled with pain
From something I can't even remember
The way it pulses through my veins
Makes every drug feel like a pretender
And every nerve is wrecked with shame
From seeing nothing but a monster every day
It's just the price I pay