Roots

To say that it's been a minute would be an understatement
I been trying to fit in my heart is under maintenance
Just once I'd like to get up and feel like I'm always winning
Is that too much to ask or is winning overrated
When I look in the mirror I back up, cause I see a spawn of Satan
Sorry Mom, but don't angry yet
This song hasn't ended
Heart hasn't mended
That's what I said
And I meant it
Don't worry I promise I'm working on it
Just the other day, I saw that we made a profit
It's the M in 2:00 PM
Marcus Thompson
Back to his roots
Yeah I been practicing
Demons I been battling
Lyrics I been mastering

I, wanna get up
Don't wanna be stuck
Don't wanna be tangled
I, wanna be tough
Don't wanna just suck
And work at a day job
I, wanna be pumped yeah don't interrupt
Cause believe it I won't stop
When, will I be enough
Will I be a dump
Will I be a chump
Don't care if you say so
Cause I
Cannot even breathe
Cannot even sleep
Cannot even eat
Cannot even leave
I need an escape route
Need to be safe-sound
We'll see how this plays out
See how loud I shout
See all of my doubts
The voices are so loud
It's killing me now

No ones ever made a difference
No ones ever messed up with it
Like I did
I'm settling, I'm meddling, I meddled with
My heart and my soul, cause I'm upset with it
Loner to the end, when I die I can't say that I did it
That's alright, I'm fine with it, not like I'ma make a difference
I don't like to get sentimental but when I do it always shakes me up
Gets me mental
Gimme the medal
Cause I beat my heart in a wrestle
She loves me, she loves me not
I'm ripping the petal
And pushing the pedal straight to the metal
(How much will it hurt?)
(Enough)
I keep getting stuck
Keep getting shut
Will I always suck
Promise I'm working on it
Marcus Thompson's finne lost it
Rapping 'bout my 'motions but it's pointless
I don't wanna mess up again, my mama already disappointed
Know she always thinkin' please don't disappoint us
And what hurts is knowing that all of this could'a been avoided
If I only cared or maybe was aware about the people I been hurting
Know I'm tryna change for the better, I'm still learning
Though all this new stuff changing
It's concerning

Been a long time
But you know your boy still tryna find his meaning
Purpose
Worth it
Hurting
And at times to be real
Wanna die
Haven't felt like that in a minute
After she left, it's all coming back to me
Yeah, I still got demons
She fixed me up real nice
But turns out it was just distractin' me
I'm alone again like I said
Loner to the end
Now I'm dead inside
Tryna find a meaning but my demons attackin' me

(Alright, I'm done)
(Nah I'm in it now)
(Ahhhhhhhhhh)

Thinkin' that I'm better than I am would be funny
Sometimes when I wake up feel like everything I did was all for nothing
It was stupid
It was pointless
And there's nothing I can do
I know it sounds like hating on myself is a get away
But I hate that too
It's kinda funny lookin' in the mirror
Knowin' that the guy I'm lookin' at's a nobody
It's true
Too far? Too bad
Nothing. Too sad
Don't be scared, it's the truth
These just my roots
And I'm back