Legends of Halloween

Frank and Wolf and Drac and I were early to hit the scene
Cruising Sunset, Vine, and Fairfax in our monster limousine
There were devils, ghosts, and trolls, and tramps, and thieves and crooks, and queens
And they were all in a hurry home to get dressed for Halloween

Now these wizened gentlemen are this town's three great ghouls
They made it big with mask and wig; I'd hoped they'd teach this fool
So I gladly agreed to drive, for them, their Halloween carpool
I'd learn much more in just one night than all those years in school

Frankie's a giant here; he rolls in all the green
And Drac is not repelled by the silver of the screen
Wolfie's box office gold when his fur flies and eyes gleam
No wonder my heart beats so hard for the Legends of Halloween

The smog-filled sky grew deadly dark, obscuring all moonlight
And Wolfie howled, "Oy this finsternish makes things out of sight
But Drackie feared the crowds would come and hang around all night
"I'd like to stop by Canter's," he said, "and get myself a bite"

So in we went, the four of us, looking awful mean
Wolfie had pastrami; Frankie corned beef, extra lean
Drackie had the kishke, with the gravy on the side
And when I ordered "ham and cheese" they glared at me cross-eyed

Frankie's a giant here; he rolls in all the green
And Drac is not repelled by the silver of the screen
Wolfie's box office gold when his fur flies and eyes gleam
No wonder my heart beats so hard for the Legends of Halloween

"I'm thinking of doing another film," Frankie said to Wolfie
"In black-and-white, with CGI, an old-time modern movie
"We'll shoot in Rome, just like Leone, il mostro spaghettini
"You'll work for free," Frank said to me, "you'll play the Halloweenie"

I'd get no pay, but that's okay, I'd see myself on screen
This could be the break for me, what a lucky Halloween
The moral of this story is - and these words please recall
So many Hollywood monsters are real Mensches after all

Frankie's a giant here; he rolls in all the green
And Drac is not repelled by the silver of the screen
Wolfie's box office gold when his fur flies and eyes gleam
No wonder my heart beats so hard for the Legends of Halloween