Breakfast in Bed

Handy with a needle at seventeen
A Jersey girl by blood, she was long and lean
Catch a sight of her walking through the church
Any man's stomach was bound to lurch

Are you with me so far?

Well, Eddie's number one, with a-him come six
Hammering and quenching, he was brave with them tricks
But he was a yellow-bellied copper
And you know that girl wouldn't love him proper, no

Well lovers will be lovers and they're bound to have their spats
So this morning he will have the stuff for the rats

Martha, Junior, Willy too
Running round the house, they're playing peek-a-boo
They were loud in the day, they were louder at night
What's a girl to do when the budget's so tight?

Well, kids will be kids in their habitats
So this morning they will have the stuff for the rats

Georgie was a painter, couldn't spin a thread
By the nature of his work he had a taste for lead
His two little sisters were unemployed
Taking up space like a walking void

Well, kids will be kids, and a fact is a fact
So this morning they will have the stuff for the rats

Dennis, newly single, had no debts to disburse
And he fell for the seamstress, now a nurse
He loved her so much she appeared in his will
"She can take my estate, she's got looks that kill, yeah"

Lovers will be lovers, even aristocrats
So this morning he will have the stuff for the rats

Horatio's the last love, third time's a charm
Bottle at his side, baby in his arms
He had a second child, don't you wonder why
No one saw them headed six feet under, my god!

Well a family's a family and the gravestone's flat
'Cause this morning they all had the stuff for the rats