Keeping Score

I was 18, freshly into college
Kinda missed my family, feeling melancholic
Things were better than they were in high school
That place was a first-rate depression cesspool
There was a lonely ache in my body
Wanted somebody to hold me just for the night
Went looking for a heartbreak, looking for a mistake
But I didn't know it at the time

That was the autumn I was hoping I could pull you
God, I really want to
Nose always in a book
So I started wearing perfume
Said you like the smart girls
Had to up my game
Studied for my one minute of fame
But you fed me to the lions
Can't you hear them roar?
Sitting in the background
Keeping score, keeping score

You knew that boy had said he loved me four days into talking
And I dropped him because he sent my skin crawling
Held his life to my throat, wrote me ransom notes
I couldn't sleep for months
Thought maybe you'd be different, and I was right
But not in the way I hoped I might be
Oh, my avoidance met its match
And I became attached

That was the autumn I was trying hard to pull you
God, I really want to
Lead 'em on and let 'em down
Isn't that your full truth?
Said you like the smart girls
Let you pick my brain
Was I at least good for your grades?
But you fed me to the lions
Can't you hear them roar?
Sitting in the background
Keeping score, keeping score

I felt cool (I felt cool)
Under your attention and I guess
You forgot (You forgot)
To mention what you were looking for
Wasn't me (Wasn't me)
Even though I wanted to be yours
Completely (Ah)
Now I'm just keeping score
Ah, ah ah

I was 18, freshly into college
Kinda missed my family, feeling melancholic