Rubix

Profound emptiness, detachment of everything
To constantly sin fills you up with nothingness
A beautiful mess, what it is describing it
A tortured artist, tries his hardest, to pass this raw test
Turned a martyr to his own conscience
Like a carcass, it's abysmal that every syllable even minimal
Makes him pitiful and even more invisible
Yet at the same time fills him to the full to a pinnacle of following his goal
Makes it feasible what a cynical individual
His mind is a fortress, many portions and contortions
And I don't know what it is what I constantly miss
Studying myself with no syllabus
A tyrannosaurus with a thesaurus
With lyrics so deep they hold no importance
Ha ha

And I know that I'm yes a beautiful mess
A Rubik's cube in a human flesh
Living in my head is worse than abyss
I don't even smoke cess I'm high on my own mess

Dig a hole in the soil of the turf of the earth
For the pain and the hurt and my soul should be burnt
Cuz I do need to purge my soul from the filth and the burdens of guilt
So I can be rebirthed, so reshaped and reformed
Can't do nothing right I'm in a constant fight with the thoughts in my mind
Sit alone in my room for hours on my phone
Scrolling through social media that seems to be porn
And the battery on my phone isn't the only thing being drained to the core
Cuz addiction really takes a part of your all
And the more you consume huh the more you'll be doomed
But it is evaded with little motivation
Cuz it's nauseating the thing I been saying to these stupid hos yo when I'm horny ain't it?
And I didn't wanna feel all this self hating, never ever a-gain

And I know that I'm yes a beautiful mess
A Rubik's cube in a human flesh
Living in my head is worse than abyss
I don't even smoke cess I'm high on my own mess

And I kept thinking to me what's gotten into me
This void inside of me I need an epiphany
Which then allowing me, to hit sobriety
8 months and a counting, it's hard yet so astounding, oh and so rewarding
But my head is numb and it's causing bedlam
I'm not gonna say sorry for what I am
I've been called creepy and I've been called ugly, I've never really had someone before who loved me
I've been torn to shambles a sword with no handles
Oh and I'm lit but my mind is scrambled
Afraid to let go, afraid I don't even know
A puzzle with a lot of missing pieces
Each passing day the number decreases
Oh and not to mention I lose some tension that I cause myself with overthinking
Finding who you are is a mission pending

And I know that I'm yes a beautiful mess
A Rubik's cube in a human flesh
Living in my head is worse than abyss
I don't even smoke cess I'm high on my own mess

I'm a beautiful mess
I'm a beautiful mess
I'm a beautiful mess
I'm a beautiful mess

And I know that I'm yes a beautiful mess
A Rubik's cube in a human flesh
Living in my head is worse than abyss
I don't even smoke cess I'm high on my own mess