afterthought

Breathe out, breathe in
Let all the oxygen in your chest
I can't remember the last time I could rest
Watching you sleep
Wondering who's the man in your dreams
Is he taller? Is he blonde?
He doesn't have a cooler mom
And there's no way he treats you better
Look at my handwritten letters
And then a cloud begins to fester
I think you think of me as lesser
Than the one who taught you how
To feel comfortable sneaking around
In your old Ford SUV
A car I never got to see

Is he the reason
I'm having such a troubled time believing
You even want me here
'Cuz you tell me all the time it makes no difference

Kept your distance
You wrote my Christmas card on the train
And I bet you tried not to write his name
Afterthought
The shoulder's could but the coffee's hot
Another morning, something's wrong
I take my pills and carry on
And then I wonder what I'm fighting
All the ice cubes I've been biting
I don't even serve a purpose
I won't let you tell me I'm worthless
If I'm not the one for you
Then get the fuck out of my bedroom
I went to you six times that week
But I think this time you can leave

Is he the reason
I'm having such a troubled time believing
You even want me here
'Cuz you tell me all the time it makes no difference

You come home at 4 am
I smell tobacco on your hands
I haven't got any sleep
My empty room was haunting me
I lay your ghost down on our bed
I smell the liquor on your breath
I turn around and start to cry
You sound annoyed when you ask why
You're in a mood I'm in my head
But we both choose to fight instead
We talk in circles all night long
Then go to bed like nothing's wrong
But if nothing is wrong then what's with the turmoil
Who's the revolver and who gets the recoil
Bullets are flying we're caught in the fire
When you say you love me you sound like a liar

Is he the reason
I'm having such a troubled time believing
You even want me here
'Cuz you tell me all the time it makes no difference
Yeah, I tell you all the time but you don't listen
Yeah, you sit there and you think that I don't listen