I Was Rather Disappointed
I was five years old when I first questioned the value of my life
I don't know why the ignorant bliss most kids experience
fully missed me
But it did
My mother was dropping me off at the school yard
when I asked her if I was a mistake
I could tell I disturbed her
And that these thoughts weren't constant yet
They were the birth of many troubling years to come
Please forgive me mama
I know that it killed you inside
Your tears weren't for nothing
I'm having the time of my life
By the time I was twelve I was fully convinced I wanted to die
I saw no love or beauty in anything
My reflection disgusted me and all I had were bad thoughts now
My problems felt unimportant and I insignificant in my own home
I saw how badly my mother was hurting too
The last thing I wanted was to burden her further
So I thought it best I go to sleep for a very long time
But when I woke
I was rather disappointed
Please forgive me mama
I know that it killed you inside
Your tears weren't for nothing
I'm having the time of my life
At sixteen years old I dropped out of school
And decided to give the old happy pills a chance
Those didn't seem to help too much though
My faculties continued to fail me time and time again
It was at my childhood friends birthday that I really lost it
Smashing my head into my poor mothers car
I was hospitalized shortly after
Please forgive me mama
I know that it killed you inside
Your tears weren't for nothing
I'm having the time of my life
Please forgive me mama
I know that it killed you inside
Your tears weren't for nothing
I'm having the time of my life
(Voicemail from mother plays)
I'm having the time of my life
I don't know why the ignorant bliss most kids experience
fully missed me
But it did
My mother was dropping me off at the school yard
when I asked her if I was a mistake
I could tell I disturbed her
And that these thoughts weren't constant yet
They were the birth of many troubling years to come
Please forgive me mama
I know that it killed you inside
Your tears weren't for nothing
I'm having the time of my life
By the time I was twelve I was fully convinced I wanted to die
I saw no love or beauty in anything
My reflection disgusted me and all I had were bad thoughts now
My problems felt unimportant and I insignificant in my own home
I saw how badly my mother was hurting too
The last thing I wanted was to burden her further
So I thought it best I go to sleep for a very long time
But when I woke
I was rather disappointed
Please forgive me mama
I know that it killed you inside
Your tears weren't for nothing
I'm having the time of my life
At sixteen years old I dropped out of school
And decided to give the old happy pills a chance
Those didn't seem to help too much though
My faculties continued to fail me time and time again
It was at my childhood friends birthday that I really lost it
Smashing my head into my poor mothers car
I was hospitalized shortly after
Please forgive me mama
I know that it killed you inside
Your tears weren't for nothing
I'm having the time of my life
Please forgive me mama
I know that it killed you inside
Your tears weren't for nothing
I'm having the time of my life
(Voicemail from mother plays)
I'm having the time of my life
Credits
Writer(s): Andrew Robert Rosen, Romy Maxine Flores
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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