...With All My Heart

This the shit I can only write at 4am
When I don't feel a soul around me
Just me and my thoughts
And I made this well aware it takes two to tango
I'm not perfect at all
It's just my story
My perspective, my truth
I mean, that's what it's all about, right

Live, laugh, love, tough
Hard to do with lack of trust
When we screw still feel a rush
When we through, the feeling sucks
Flashbacks the past is rough
Memories now filled with fluff
Can't get rid of the disgust
Feelings that I don't discuss

'13 fell I love
Two years off another cuff
In between, I felt alone
And when we met depression crushed
Seen a lot of women
When we linked
It felt of a dream
Off the first link I gave it everything
That was the first couple months
Maybe three
I remember the first time feeling jeoulousy
You complimented my homie right in front of me
Ain't think much of it you was being friendly
But it hurt finding you was in his dms
Was before us so wasn't tripping
I just found it weird you ain't tell me
Another few months of this feeling
Put in situations I ain't deal with
To this day I suffer from the visions
Damn near finding reasons we should finish
Hate to be in love no trust replenished
Wish we can go back to the beginning
I'd just make shit clear in what we needed
If that meant we broke okay so be it
Maybe there were signs I never heeded
Perhaps we should unpack up all of these reasons

Remember when you hopped in dude car
I was hurt
How you fought to keep your exes around
I was hurt
How you often took advantage of my kindness
I was hurt
Feeling awkward at your friend's bonfire
I was hurt, Mm
I was hurt

Lies were told and in the same my heart was stolen
When it came to being stoic had the face of a Roman
Statue pacing in the moments I felt pain
And you kept going
I was chasing
You kept going
I was chasing
You kept going
I was chasing
You kept going
I was chasing
Get the point
And Now we racing
To a point in where we placing
Blame on the acts of satan
Scrubbing on a stained image
Lack of an account over a blemish

Live, love, laugh, tough
Hard to do with lack of trust
When we screw still feel a rush
When we through, the feeling sucks
Flashbacks the past is rough
Memories now filled with fluff
Can't get rid of the disgust
Feelings that I don't discuss

'23 still in love
Twenty's down the toilet flushed
How long is the curse of lust
If this is love then why it suck
Two offsprings and now we stuck
Threw away the key to cuffs
Prisoned in the hole we dug
It's cool I'm not my father's son
Don't get me wrong girl I love my sons
But let's admit it was outta fun
The second more intentional
If we could go back though I know we'd run
If we go back then I know we done
Tried be progressive with my trust you took it being weak
You had my soul in shambles
I confided you chose not to speak
We had a heart-to-heart about the scars and you chose to retreat
So to feel that you would stay I chose to never make a peep
Thus I make these songs for the therapy
Cause my future it be scaring me
Without these songs it is hell in me
Future be scaring me
I made these songs for the therapy
Without these songs it is hell in me