Rubious

Rubious

I fantasize about you, sometimes,
Fantasize that you are happy,
Realizing yourself
In a way that was not possible back when
Each morning your eyes thrown from
Darkness opened to the sunlight
And gazed, gazed, gazed into mine.

I hope you are in love
I hope it's new and dramatic
And I hope it makes you smile
When you're on you own,
Hanging out the clothes
Or broken down on the roadside, kicking tyres,
Your mind desperately holding on to
Itself for dear life, suddenly, effor
Tlessly and like in some self affirming salacious
Dream, lets go.

I fantasize the most perfect act of love I could commit
Was to set you free,
Let you grow natural, unbarred,
Let the sunshine warm your skin
Without thoughts of anything else but being you in the world.

I also fantasize that some day we'll meet
Haphazardly, we'll have out-grown our
Difficulties and very, very, very slowly
We'll fall in love again.

Forgive me, I know this last fantasy is
Just the little bit of you left in me,
Warming me, still believing in me, still wiping
Tears and whispering I love you into my mouth.