September 1st

Light and nature in the picture
Big smiles and higher chests
You were two feet behind me
I was short and I was twelve

And I can still hear your applauses
Of every time that I did right
And to stay up in that cloud
I would tear my skin and bone apart

Wish I had been swallowed by that sun
Instead that by this harm
I'm crawling on a floor of broken glass
Wish I knew the wicked tricks of time
I'd still be your shiny star
I'd still be the only walker in your land
What is a grown up
If not a burnout
If not a burden
In your eyes?

Everything that raises falls
And you enjoyed every feet down
"Now look at all those young girls
You could never do like that"

And when well silenced and buried
I still tried to reach to you
But you had risen your head up
Somewhere so high I couldn't fly to

Wish I had been swallowed by that sun
Instead that by this harm
I'm crawling on a floor of broken glass
Wish I knew the wicked tricks of time
I'd still be your shiny star
I'd still be the only walker in your land
What is a grown up
If not a burnout
If not a burden
In your eyes?

You said I got in on my own
But you pushed me in and locked the door
Found the girls you had before
Shaky hands begging on the floor
And vicious circles, pointy edges
For the healing of their scars
Diary pages, songs and verses
For the years they can't take back
Picking up all their tapestry you broke
You were the grown up here
You should've known

Now I mostly feel sorry for myself
'Cause in two years you won't even remember my name
What is a grown up
If not a burnout
If not a burden
In your eyes...?