Tremaine's Song

Regardless of whatever type of dad we had, we all had one
But what does the definition of fatherless mean
Fatherless in this case, actually puts the responsibility
And the ownership on the father to be engaging
To be enlightening, to be encouraging and to equip their children
Some of us had a peekaboo dad
That was constantly in and out of their children's lives
Fathers who fail to create a firm foundation for their children
Actually put their children at a great disadvantage
The children that actually have to go through
A fatherless situation, have the ability
Or look at life in a different format

See that's what happen when your papi fall in love with that white
Nowhere seen, ain't seen that man, I improved my life
Know it's daddy issues, how the fuck do I grieve
Bout Tremayne, all that happened, younger me wasn't in sync
Tried to understand, swear nothing making sense
Christmas '20, you bought a Rover, I'm stressing my rent
My mama helped me, she always did, you was flexing on your kids
Trying to show me you was up and I still took up for you man

Younger me, your biggest fan, mama couldn't say shit
Shit that you was going through, you made it seem so big
Everybody got they ol' boy, or at least that I thought
Mama thought that she could raise a man, can't raise something she not
She made a gentleman, anything but gentle man
Still a fuck they head up with some manners then go kill a man
Know I loved you once, I could go twice but only once again
But first you got to fix yourself for Jaylin, that's my one demand
Trying to live connected, got a nephew, know my brother happy
It's so many skills that we can toss around this happy family
Tried to sleep my pain away in jail, I fell in love with pills
Remrum in my Kool-Aid, made me numb to shit ain't wanna feel
I felt like a little boy the day I seen my dad at court
Something filled me with joy, like that's all I was asking for
Ain't know that feeling in that minute, don't want it to be vindictive
Don't want part of this pain, consisting of what was missing
It ain't good to be happy that you off child support
Over 18, back pay in the thousand's bro
Actions should speak way louder than you'll ever know
Don't mean no disrespect, but gotta tell it how it goes
Since Christmas, I've been keeping distance
Since the addiction, I've been something like your biggest critic
I had to stay away from the drugs, it was a period
Whenever I fight temptation, it make me delirious, and you said
In Virginia when I came to visit
You ain't believe the life I lived, you was just running with it
It ain't hurt me like I thought it would
My mama thought the same of me
One thing about all secrets, they yours to keep
I'm never happy about the stories that I'm hearing
Because we both one of the same
And that's a path that I've been fearing
The gap is getting wider, but the love ain't disappearing
Don't even know if it's love, I'm not good expressing my feelings
Everything bottled up, anger always follow up
Streets told me never cry, I ain't know where my father was
Mama showed me love, and my father showed inconsistency
Trying to paint your image as perfect father, it gets to me

Grandma Gayle said Jordan wasn't yours, that's how I'm born
Always feel like I'm a accident, just causing harm
Want to know why I love cleaning
Hearing that I wish I ain't have you with different meaning

See that's what happen when your papi fall in love with that white
Nowhere seen, ain't seen that man, I improved my life
Know it's daddy issues, how the fuck do I grieve
Bout Tremayne, all that happened, younger me wasn't in sync
Tried to understand, swear nothing make a sense
Christmas '20, you bought a Rover, I'm stressing my rent
My mama helped me, she always did, you was flexing on your kids
Trying to show me you was up and I still took up for you man

Now this is not meant to take away in any way from a parent out there
Who's a single parent and raising your children and
Your doing your darnedest and you're doing a good job
And you can raise wonderfully healthy children
So I don't want to minimize that in any way
This is just cutting out the slice of the pie
That relates to children who
Do miss having a connection with their father
And how that has negatively impacted them