Invisible Fears

Listen

I'll forget the times I lost feeling
And regret the times I weren't sleeping
But looking back I was just learning
My mind, to escaping, it just kept flirting

Cos I missed my fucking family
And I wish that I was there
The day my mum gave birth to my brother
Bro, the baby boy answered all my prayers

I won't stop working till my brains dead
Even if now, lighter are my paychecks
I ain't seen my old mates in fucking ages
But boys to this process there's many stages

I'm worried about one of 'em and his bad habits
The boys been playing in the snow without his jacket
I'm losing breaths tryna tell my story
But mate playing in the cold ain't mandatory

I'd lose love for a thousand nights
If it meant my pages gained some light
Cos this pressure, oh it's bodying me
And I dunno if I have the fight
I look up to the men in my life
And I wonder if they're right
Cos this path that life's taking me down
Bro I think it needs to be retyped

No, don't leave me alone I'll miss the me
I can't help but reminisce
It's fine
I'm just lost in time
I'll find myself again

I'm just tired of wasting tears
On things we wish were once invisible fears
Oh I, I've lost myself in time
I'll find myself again

I'll find peace within my soul
Or maybe hers, his or someone else
Cos my stability don't grow old
It stays rooted, fixed below the belt

There's times where I just want silence
From the madness that grows around
But I ain't talking silence deeply
Just some calmness within myself

No, don't leave me alone I'll miss the me
I can't help but reminisce
It's fine
I've just lost my mind
I'll find myself again

I worry about what'll happen
If plan A don't quite work out
Cos although I assured my mother
A plan B's seeds refuse to sprout

Do I work enough on a daily basis
To secure a future for myself
And the people who surround me
Do I give justice to the word proud?

Cos I can't be asked worrying anymore
About the stresses in my life
A heart that's not enough
Never lucky when I decide to roll the dice
A youth that maybe got wasted
A subtle knife in a Summer's night
And this ain't even a third of it
It's time I looked down from this dizzying height

Cos this sadness ain't me at all
And I remember back in Year 8
A friend I used to know said
I was never without a smile on my face
And I'll try to replicate that
Even now that I have aged
That young boys smiling face
They'll say it never changed