Awake

I've tried to call you several times
But when I dial the numbers I stop after nine
It's the 10th little ping and then six empty rings
The fear of your voice on the line

What would I even say
"What's new? How's your day?"
As if no time has passed, 20 years taken back
"I'm doing fine, by the way"

But this is all just a trick
My mind still needing a fix
Cause I'll never call and you've forgotten it all
Or at least I hope that you did

I dreamt of your sister the other day
I couldn't bring myself to even bring up your name
And while she spoke about life's ins and outs
I found when I woke it was all the same

You told some terrible lies
Did it make you feel better in time
Yet despite all of that I keep circling back
And the truth was never on my side

Can you tell me it's all in my head
Dismiss it, "we were just kids"
If you've moved on dutifully and forgotten about me
I may finally get some goddamn sleep

But when freedom's not worth the escape
The prisoner must simply wait
So I'll chip away with plans to stay
Fear not the dream, but being awake