Mental Lapse

I can't listen to no yes men
No pen pushing, no desk men
I got my methods to calm down
But all I see is red man, now all I see is dead men
All I see is old friends
I pray I never lose myself
I pray I never lose my help
Hands up for no one else
But baby Jesus and no one else
All I ever wanted was wealth
All I ever seen was sorrow
Money that I had to borrow
No promises for tomorrow
So, I must live for today
I don't know any other way

From a lost child to a young man
I still remember playing kick the can
Walking miles in quicksand
Reaching out for another hand
I'm starting to fear god's plan
Because all my hours feel rushed like Jackie Chan
But I'm a let it ride
If I see shit going downhill Ima let it slide
I tried to catch a wave, but I miss the tide
And I'm losing pride
No, I'm losing self
It hurts inside
My mental health
Another blow was fucking dealt
Another blow was fucking felt
I'm overheating and my mind is melting

Ain't too many who gone ride for you
Die for you they lie to you
They tell you who they think you need to be
While undermining you
I'm tired too I can't sleep
I watch the clock like I was hired too
Who hired you
Because you treat my like a job
While I admire you
I cried for you
I would have done anything
Even died for you
My minds a screw
You twist my thoughts
And pry them loose
I must choose
It's you or me and somebody has to lose

I have hatred that consumes my heart
The type of hatred that you never see from the start
The type of hatred that manifest from an innocent soul
The type of hatred that hit the top but never overflows
You can call me a cat that ran astray
Or you can call me a dog that was pushed away
But even a lost dog finds his way back home
Even if the place you call home is a place alone
Devoid of the foundation to keep your home stable
But every home has a cloth concealing a battered table
Every home has a cloth concealing a battered table