Honest Again

I remember when we started out
Just You and I at my piano
Praying with nobody else around
Singing 'til my sister got home

And I was so anxious
I was so anxious
But I wasn't scared to tell You that
Had so many questions
And didn't always get answers
But at least I'd ask

And I'm not sure what happened
When I started acting
Playing all sorts of pretend
When all my question asking
Turned to me trying
To distract myself instead
I'm relearning what it means to be friends
To be honest again

I remember when we got the news
Just a little before Christmas
Having to say goodbyes way too soon
That year would be a little different

And I was so angry
I was so angry
I threw my fist up at You
I was there weeping
Hating sickness, hating cancer
But You told me You were weeping too

And I'm not sure what happened
When I started acting
Praying all sorts of pretend
When all my question asking
Turned to me trying
To distract myself instead
I'm relearning what it means to be friends
To be honest again

So God, I'm sad
And God, I'm anxious
Don't know how to say it all
But I'm feeling small
And I'm praying
That You'd fill in the gaps
God, I'm sad
I feel like I might not make it
But I don't wanna fake it with You
God, I miss You
God, I miss saying that

And I'm not sure what happened

Why all my question asking
Turned to me trying
To distract myself instead
I'm relearning what it means to be friends
To give You all that's buried in my heart and in my head
Relearning what it means to be friends
To be honest again