Pulp

Nose to nose I hold you so close, in the moment
Though I know I feel it slipping away
I told you to shut your mouth when you started talking about
Passing years, passing days

I've been having visions of you as a baby, maybe
Part of it is all in my head
I don't think I understand time as a line, I
Wasn't meant to live it like this I guess
And I don't know how you people do it
See it all without the urge to fall right through it

Crack open a photo book, sit alone at 20 and
Look for a sign that I was there
Stare into the ceiling and contemplate the feeling
Of total obsoletion, destined to spare

And yet I can't stop tryin'
To hold every beautiful thing in my hands
I suck the pulp until I choke
On what was never meant to last
And still I hope although I know
I'm never gonna get it all back

I feel limited in my constant sensitivity to
What I know will hurt me soon
Every day I spend in the sun, always thinkin' of
What will come when it's time for the new
If I have to love you, I don't know how to do it
Without holdin' on too tight
And I don't wanna leave you but I might
Only 'cause I don't know how to do this right

Yet I can't stop tryin'
To hold every beautiful thing in my hands
I suck the pulp until I choke on
What was never meant to last
And still I hope although I know
I'm never gonna get it all back

Oh, just hold me
Tell me I can hold it all too
Tell me somethin' small
Lie so I can make it through
Tell me there's another sign and
I'll be with it again
Fake omnipotence so I can
Crawl back into bed