Churchill Downs (Remix)

I swear this life shits a remix and right now I feel sea sick
I'm not seeing clearly I don't know what to believe in
Lord please help me I know you hear me
Guide me on the right path take away this feeling

This feeling I'm feeling it got me thinking & willing to go back
Way back to when shit was different
But who am I kidding the future's undeniable and
Everybody you love is unreliable for the most part

She said I grew up with no heart and that shit hurt me
Now tell me how can I feel so hurt with no heart
How can it be bright in the room and it feel so dark
How come life's supposed to be easy but it's been so hard

Maybe for the prize of love
Or maybe that's just what I thought it was
Speaking about it is like therapy and I don't do it enough
I know it gotta be tough to hold it in and have issues with trust

Why is it that on my baddest day's I still feel ok
Why is it when it comes to me they don't know what to say
Why I been feeling pain for years and it don't go away
Why I don't know maybe I just need a break

And I don't want no apologies especially if you lied to me
Your love is like monopoly
It go up and down like the economy
And honestly I'm tired of it, I just need honesty

But maybe that's too much to ask for, why it go through the back door
Why do people turn they back for
If Covid died down why you still wearing a mask for
The people that laughed before now I don't feel bad for

You know simple mathematics, add love subtract hate and bad habits
Hate when they talk out they mouth
And they don't know what happened
I know how it feel to want to go forward and go backwards

Sometimes I work so hard that I lose track of the hours
Sometimes I go m.i.a cause I don't wanna be bothered
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I grew up with my father
And I promise no matter what I'll always be there for my daughter

I show love and they hate that's why they face all sour
Why do people wait til you die to give you your flowers
Everything that could go big could fall like the towers
Especially when it involves money corruption and power

And respect, you know this shit get deep like a regret
Had to go right and went left
Shout out to the one's that called me when I was down and depressed
And the one that told me Bibi keep going you blessed

You know life is like chess can burn like cigarette
It's crazy how you can clean it up and it still be a mess
Watch who you keep close to you is it worth the stress
I can't believe I let someone try to control my success like, damn

I can't believe I let someone try to control my success
But not no more and this is something that I just had to get off my chest