Lessons

I had to learn to learn the hard way that ignoring my thoughts
Is not the same thing as just getting over them

It's all my weight
Guess imma shoulder it

Cause these nights turn late
Thinking what I should've did

And no I'm not a stranger to all the heartbreak
So much pain I could just prolly pile it up on a shelf
Hurt people hurt people
But they also hurt them selves
Lord knows I did damage
Though she also knows i healed

I been fighting this anger
everyday I don't matter if it's slight
seems colors the only way I can feel

Might not see it on my face
But just know that its a shell

Either way I'm feeling cold
To the core, Like I'm steel

The real difference between taking you path and going my way is the haste and grit
I can't keep through these days
Feeling spent
Just waiting for change
Doesn't really make cents

Cause what is plan
If you don't chase it yea

I can't keep being down bad
Feeling like an old soundtrack

They say it take patience
But I'm tired of waiting yea

Said Im here for a reason
But im speeding thru these seasons

So now i'm like oh shit

Cause Im feeling like an observer
And I'm always Looking from the outside In
But why am I always on the outside

And I don't know nothing bout a pastime no
I'm just tryna heal from my past live
But they see me moving like an anti-hero

And I'm waiting

So can you understand
Do you understand
What I'm saying

Cause I need more time
Under me is like a landslide
And I'm feeling like apartheid

Cause my mind is separate
From my body

And there's no body
That can help me

And now I'm like oh shit

Cause what do I do now
I feel used like a hand towel

I don't wanna see the end

And what can I say when everything that I do and the words that I speak
Sound like I'm coming from Spain

I don't know where I'll be
Not overthinking what to say

Cause there's another voice saying stop Inside my brain

I've been telling myself, we the best, keep the pace
Don't wreck, In due time you'll have it in your hand

If it was made for me
In my way, nothing stands

My intention
Is to have it on command

But I spent too long,
Waiting for a sign that says

It's your time now
Fuck around, and Find out

But my thoughts were too loud

And now I know they ain't shit

But I'm used to company
Someone to comfort me

But that was old shit

And Im feeling like an observer
Cause I'm Looking from the outside in
But why am I always on the outside

And I don't know nothing bout a pastime no
I'm just tryna heal from my past live
But They see me moving like an anti-hero

And I'm waiting

Can you understand
Do you understand
What I'm saying

Cause I need more time
Above me is a damn lie
And I'm looking through my good eye

Cause my mind is seperate
From everybody

And that's prolly
Why I feel sorry

For the things I never said

Cause were do we go to
If our trust has issues

If it only was that simple