ok wip draft 27 final final mix mastered

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I went too far and I actually did it

Tired of pretending that I'm fine with how it's been
What if I let go 'cause I'm just hanging by a thread
Maybe I should stop before I go that route again
Or maybe I should stop suppressing what I'm thinking in my head

And sometimes routine changes, but it never goes away
A ritual's replaced, but I still never get a say
I try to change myself, but I can rarely keep my plans
Before I'm forced to stop myself and turn around to wash my hands

I know I look informal
I stand out un-ignorable
What must I do to be normal
'Cause this right now is horrible

W-W-W-W-Walking through the shopping plaza wearing shades but not because it's sunny
I'm just thinking, what if I get looks because my eyes are red and puffy
Crossing all my fingers and my toes too in the hopes of getting lucky
But nothing I do changes that I'm shopping in a plaza with no money
Day after day after day is the same and I'm over it
I'm not meeting any expectations even as they keep on lowering
Scared of confrontation 'bout this space I'm in where nothing really matters
Say I'm at my breaking point but possibly I've already been shattered

Million pieces shattering, broken glass splattering
Step on it and bleed, step on it and bleed, step on all the
Million pieces shattering, broken glass splattering
Step on it and bleed, step on it and bleed, step on all the

How, is the question
Why, I won't answer
When, well actually before tomorrow's dawn
No time to question if it's wrong

Million pieces shattering, broken glass splattering
Step on it and bleed, step on it and bleed, step on all the
Million pieces shattering, broken glass splattering
Step on it and bleed, step on it and bleed, step on all the
Million pieces shattering, broken glass splattering
Step on it and bleed, step on it and bleed, step on all the
Million pieces shattering, broken glass splattering
Step on it and bleed, step on it and bleed, step on it and bleed
Step on it and bleed, step on it and bleed, step on it and bleed
(Step on it and bleed, step on it and bleed, step on it and bleed, step on it and bleed)

(Micah Callari, Micah Callari, Micah Callari, Micah Callari)

Made up my mind for real this time
Now there's nothing that can break my stride
I'm numb to the pain, I'm blind to your angsty attitude
You strange fellow in the mirror
You stare back coldly
You look back to the old me
The me that talks less boldly
I wish someone had told me that

Hey
I guess it's okay, okay, okay, okay
Whatever you say, you say, you say, you say
At the end of the day, the day, the day, the day
I guess it's okay, okay, okay, okay, okay
Hey
I guess it's okay, okay, okay, okay
Whatever you say, you say, you say, you say
At the end of the day, the day, the day, the day
I guess it's okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay

Maybe they're wrong and money can buy happiness
A little bit of cash to fill up all that emptiness
'Cause currently I look all around me and get envious
The smiles in their stories give me feelings so insidious
They're toxic, how they tell me I'm so weird when they're just NPCs
They see me opening my sauce and laugh 'cause they can't let me be
They talk all critical, they love to get political
They're clearly neurotypical, that makes us antithetical

Hey
I guess it's okay, okay, okay, okay
Whatever you say, you say, you say, you say
At the end of the day, the day, the day, the day
I guess it's okay, okay, okay, okay, okay
Hey
I guess it's okay, okay, okay, okay
Whatever you say, you say, you say, you say
At the end of the day, the day, the day, the day
I guess it's okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay

I think I'm safe now
I can't explain how
But something changed and now
I'm planning out my life beyond eighteen
I'm still not happy
I'm still not great
But everything is fine 'cause at long last
I see the light at the end of the tunnel

It blinds me so I start to stumble
A great big rainbow, make it double
I'm ready to bury up the shovel
I don't need burying anymore
My mom and dad embrace me
No more voices that say they hate me
The mirror's reaching out to take me
But I resist, I'm crying, please don't wake me

I don't wanna go back
To the pain that greets me in the sunlight
There's only one light I can stand now
And it's the nightlight by my table, please don't wake me
I'm finally free of OCD
Of handwashing and running away from bees
My headspace is nothing but peace
And you really want to take that away from me, please don't wa-

Nothing and everything together at the same time
An endless void of hopelessness
As the mind and the brain have given up
Comprehending anything

Objects become colors
Colors become feelings
And feelings become a foreign sensation to you

Your feeling of self is taken away from you
And you become a passive observer

Autopilot doesn't feel like the correct term
Because you're not really doing anything
Other than just
Existing

It's not sad
It's not frustrating
It's not like anything in the moment when it's happened (shut up)
But when it's over (shut up, shut up)
How can you continue on (shut up, shut up)

Do you just pretend it never happened