Jingle Bells

Join with us now
As Severe Tire Damage presents
A worldwide salute to Christmas
Severe Tire Damage, the only band that really cares
Will now stylistically interpret the music of the world
Through the joy of that perennial Christmas favorite
Jingle Bells

Now we travel south of the border
To our Latin neighbors whose colorful serapes and sombreros
Make a bright show as maracas, timbales
And Mexican cowbell play along

Jingle bells, dingle balls
In my Chevrolet
Oh what fun it is to ride
In East LA
Jingle balls, jingle balls
In my Chevrolet
Oh what fun it is to ride
In East LA

Next, we visit our noble dusky-skin Jamaican cousins
With their exciting primitive rhythm

Oh man, jingle all the way
Is to ride
In la ... sleigh
Uh

Jewish people can be found all over the world
And traditional music called Klezmer
Shows their cheerful disposition
Even after thousands of years of oppression by Christians

Yentel bells, yentel sells
Yentel all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open ... schlemazel
Yentel bells, yentel bells
Yentel all the way ... schlemazel
If I were a rich man

For some, Christmas means a gift
Of a pencil or other inexpensive trinket
Here's STD's tribute
To underprivileged disadvantaged in the inner city

Yo ... kick it ... word up
Like jingle, man
Pop a cap upside his head
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Kick it, homie
Word

And what would Christmas be like
Without your relatives?
Those who live in the Appalachians may never know
As we dive head-first into the shallow end of Darwin's gene pool

Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh

Y'all come back now, you hear