The Man From the Window: The Musical

Someone's right outside right now, just standing round my flowers
They're staring through the window like they mighta been for hours
Relax, stay calm, you got this, Mom! This ain't no time to cower
Go on, now, baby bunny, hide your hide inside the shower!

Mama, read the story! That's exactly where he's heading!
"First, he checks the bathtub, then he'll search beneath the bedding"
"He'll cast about the cabinets-" and cooler too, I'm betting
What's that tapping on the window?
Oh, that's right, I keep forgetting

Beware the man from the window
The man from the window
The man from the window's come for you
Beware the man from the window
The man from the window
And once he gets inside, you better hide
Well, that's what I would try to do

Of all the people at the peephole, that's a creep I like to stop it
Poppet, please go get my keys so we can bolt the door and lock it
Let's go tow the sofa so the whole darn thing will block it
Hey honey, hold these keys
But momma, I ain't got a pocket!

Junior, honey, hurry, hunker down below the table!
Let's leave the Man a snack— a custard cream or maybe maple?
I'd try to hide beside you but I'm wider than is able
Now it sounds like someone's coming but the door's not very stable

Hold your breath! Say your prayers!
The man from the window is almost there!
Beads of sweat! Dripping tears!
Well don't look now, but The Man is here!

Beware the man from the window
The man from the window
The man from the window's coming through
Beware the man from the window
The man from the window
He's here to hunt you down without a sound
And if you're found, he's bound to take you

Hiding in our home alone's our only real protection
Listen well and hide yourself but follow my directions
The timing's near precise, but if we plan it to perfection
We'll be certain to survive if we avoid the Man's detection!

He's a freaky, sneaky creeper, peeping round my laundry pile
With those white, gigantic eyes behind that horrifying smile
I don't know how long he'll be her, but he's been here for a while
And I will pry that feller's eyes out if he tries to hurt my child!

Sure he's bigger, faster, meaner, tad bit taller, slightly leaner
Could be keener, probably cleaner
He ain't seen this queen's demeanour!
I won't see some SOB here be a bunny-hunting schemer!
Mama B here gonna knee him in the wiener!

Beware the man from the window
The man from the window
The man from the window's black and blue
Beware the man from the window
The man from the window
And if we had to guess
He's learned his lesson: never ever mess with you!