Depression Is a Liar

My apartment is pitch black
The darkness - the space and time that cloaks my mind
This cosmic void, apart from other galaxies
Stays annoyed... From planetary systems tries to avoid
The stars spreading positivity get destroyed
Swallowed whole by black holes of negativity

My eyes and my blinds stay shut
Curtains closed, the show's over
White noise buzzes across my TV screen
Overdosed on YouTube and Netflix to flee reality
Very few Rays escape my fortifications

My living space a mausoleum
I lie inside a coffin
With a headboard, footrest, and mattress
My sheets are the casket top
Sealed in tight, deep in sleep
I would rather not be resurrected

I'm a zombie
I'm the hopelessness of a life trapped in time
A vagabond unwilling to bond out to face the world outside
The globe is spinning but I'm standing still
My peers advance every year while I can't even turn the wheels
Spiritually sleep but a mental insomniac
My mind collapses under the weight of my purpose
Realizing intellectually out of shape to carry it confidently
I'm not eating, my problems are eating me alive

To cope I plunge into addiction
Staring into windows of women woven into pleasured intersections
Their voices stroke my ego and massage the manhood manifesting
Calling me to come over; when I arrive, I'm numb
Numb to the pain behind the joy they drum
Novocain in my veins ignoring disastrous Plains
Normalizing toxicity spread inside from botched injections
To hide my sickness and function professionally
Physically dying, emotionally groaning 'cause I'm a shell of me
Depression

Depression is a liar
It's infectious and death to desires
Don't suppress it, it's best to decide to
Seek professional help to revive us
Depression is a liar
It's infectious and death to desires
Don't suppress it, it's best to decide to
Seek professional help to revive us

Staring across the room at my therapist
He solemnly speaks, "I have your diagnosis."
Puppy dog eyes betray my stoic expression
"From our sessions and your behavior
I've concluded you have low level depression."
Tears flood my face, the levees of my eyes breached
I poured issues that became locked inside tissues

Leaving his office, walking downstairs
I descend deeper into despair
Cranking my ignition, wishing to run away
Drive far from NC, past the coast of California
Into the Pacific Ocean, see how long I can stay afloat
If I last it's meant to be otherwise death and I elope

Feeling like a fallen Angel, knocking on the Devil's door
He's cooking goat in Hell's Kitchen, stops to see who's there
God shows up to save me before I enter Lucifer's lair
He removed scales from my eyes, pulled scales off my skin
Now I see clearly and can feel again

I learned to see life as a blessing and appreciate it
Many have died while others live depreciated
I'm relearning to trust God - hand Him the controller
He'll broadcast me on the right channel, my promoter
I learned to release harmful teachings, people
And expectations, embracing myself truly in freedom
I finally allowed myself to grieve
Accepting mournful moments from a heart bereaved
I learned to readily accept issues of life
Be humble, adaptable, submitted to Christ!

I was willing to lose everyone to save myself
Lovers, supposed brothers, just to save my health
This includes removing self-worth from work
I am NOT my goals, and failure may hurt
But it helps along the way traveling this road
I wanna live till I'm old, had to prepare my soul
I was up, I was down, in the clouds, in the fire
Through it all I believe God; depression is a liar!

Depression is a liar
It's infectious and death to desires
Don't suppress it, it's best to decide to
Seek professional help to revive us
Depression is a liar
It's infectious and death to desires
Don't suppress it, it's best to decide to
Seek professional help to revive us
Depression is a liar
It's infectious and death to desires
Don't suppress it, it's best to decide to
Seek professional help to revive us
Depression is a liar
It's infectious and death to desires
Don't suppress it, it's best to decide to
Seek professional help to revive us
Depression is a liar
It's infectious and death to desires
Don't suppress it, it's best to decide to
Seek professional help to revive us
Depression is a liar
It's infectious and death to desires
Don't suppress it, it's best to decide to
Seek professional help to revive us