Gaston

Who does she think she is?
That girl has tangled with the wrong man
No one says, "No" to Gaston
Darn right!

Dismissed, rejected, publicly humiliated!
Why it's more than I can bear?
More beer? What for? Nothing helps, I'm disgraced
Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've gotta pull yourself together

Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps

There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why

No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
For there's no man in town half as manly, aw!
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

No one's big like Gaston
A kingpin like Gaston
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
As a specimen (ah!) yes, I'm intimidating
My what a guy that Gaston

Give five hurrahs, give 12 hip-hips
Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips

No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestling match nobody fights like Gaston
For there's no one as burly and brawny
As you see I've got biceps to spare
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
That's right! And every last inch of me's covered with hair

No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
I'm especially good at expectorating
Ptooey! (Ten points for Gaston)

When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs
Every morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge

(Yeehaw! Ha!)
(Yeehaw! Ah! Ha!)
(Yeehaw! Ha!)
(Yeehaw! Ooh!)
(Ah! Hoo!)
(Wa-hoo, wa-hoo, hey!)
Oh, oh, oh, oh

No one shoots like Gaston (no one!)
Makes those beauts like Gaston
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
I use antlers in all of my decorating

My what a guy
Gaston (hooray!)



Credits
Writer(s): Howard Elliott Ashman, Alan Irwin Menken
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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