NV

What I said

I got kicked off the bus
Walked a mile in the sun
My shoes full of rocks and blood
The sweat pouring down my face

The sun made me think of us
The sun was killing me
The sun gets too hot and kills my soul

This is my least favorite show
I try to skip the worst scenes
Yet, they always play anyways
They make me miss those better days

Did you ever think of me?
When Jeffrey Dahmer was on TV?
Someone once told me I looked like him
And I never stopped thinking about it

I don't know how much
My body will be worth
When they sell my organs

Would you take my heart
Once I'm dead and gone
I know it's bleeding for you
I know it's not what you want

And I know all these words mean nothing to me
And I'm so sick of writing about myself
(Once I'm dead and gone)
Honey, you're like a cancer in my lungs (I know it's bleeding for you)
You take the air from my lungs (I know it's not what you want)

What I said in my sleep

The flowers are dying today
The walls are starting to decay
It's a lovely day to die, oh, isn't it?
You can appreciate that kind of time

(Castrate me, please)
(Feed my growing lust)

You can learn to love the isolation
You can't have my sun
On this night, it's a full blood moon
The hell flowers bloom

You're so different now
I am desperate now
I would die for your hands
I would die for your warmth
You're so fucking sick
I am so naive
I would die for your love
I would let you insert this blade

Tell me I'm the only heart
That you have taken for your keeping
Tell me I'm only the one
That you would fuck while I was asleep
(Maybe I will know that you love me)

I would disappear for many days
But there seemed to be no one looking for me
No posters, no cartons, no lovers
No family members even showed up to my funeral

You're so different now
I am desperate now
I would die for your hands
I would die for your warmth
You're so fucking sick
I am so naive
I would die for your love
I would let you insert this blade

Into my heart
Into my heart
Into my heart

What you said

Sometimes, I try to think of
Different ways to say I'm sorry
But I don't know if it would help
For the past and the present

I spend most hours of the day
Waiting for you to call me again
Cause I just need to hear your voice
Once more

I can see your anger, I know
But I couldn't wait any longer
I hope your mother forgives me
But I can't wait any longer

I still love you, you know I do
No matter how much I try
To replace your face, replace that void
You know it's always you

I've tried to get better
I've tried to stay sober
I've tried to stop being tired
But I'm tired

I've tried to get better (living in Las Vegas)
I've tried to stay sober (living in Las Vegas)
I've tried to stop being tired (living in Las Vegas)
But I'm tired (living in this house)

And I feel like I can't breathe right now
My mind is split in pieces
On the other side of this screen
I wanna feel your hands touch mine

And I tried to get better for you
And I've tried to stay sober for you
I'm so afraid of becoming my mother
I am so afraid of being alone

I want the voice to stop
I want my heart to stop
I promise, mother, I'm still your child
I promise, lover, I'm still your ghost

I want this noise to stop
Untie my stomach knot
I promise, father I'm still your child
I promise, lover, I'm still your ghost

And I feel like I can't breathe right now (Living in Las Vegas)
My mind is split in pieces (living in Las Vegas)
On the other side of this screen (living in Las Vegas)
I wanna feel your hands touch mine (living in you)

And I tried to get better for you (living in Las Vegas)
And I've tried to stay sober for you (living in Las Vegas)
I'm so afraid of what I've become (living inside my body)
I am so afraid of being alone (living without you)

Living in Las Vegas
Living in Las Vegas
Living in Las Vegas
Living in Las Vegas