Candy Canes
It just turned December and I haven't figured out
How to open a candy cane without breaking the wrapper
I thought it would be easy but then I realized
That it's a lot fuckin' harder than it looks
Why do candy canes need to be packaged like this?
Try to take off all the plastic, it eventually splits
And when I think I'm doing good, and think that I have excelled
The wrapper folds in upon itself
Like, what the fuck?
I need to open my candy cane
But the wrapper on this thing is so insane
Why does it have to be so much pain
For a candy cane, someone explain
One-one candy cane
One-one dy-dy, dy-dy-dy
Cane-cane, can-can-cane
One-one-one-one
Dy-dy-dy (one)
Dy-dy-dy-dy-dy (cane)
Cane-cane-cane, so much pain
Pain, pain, one, one, one-one-one
Candy cane
Just learned a opening technique that I found
I get it out, then I drop it on the ground (oh, goddamm it)
To open candy canes is my only wish (but)
I'm such a clumsy, butterfingered bitch (yes you fucking are)
I need to open my candy cane
But the wrapper on this thing is so insan-an-an-an-an-ane
Why does it have to be so much pain
For a candy cane, someone expla-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-in
One-one candy cane
One-one dy-dy, dy-dy-dy
Cane-cane, can-can-cane
One-one-one-one
Dy-dy-dy (one)
Dy-dy-dy-dy-dy (cane)
Cane-cane-cane, so much pain
Pain, pain, one, one, one-one-one
Candy cane
Don't you think that life would be a whole lot easier
If candy canes were just a whole lot easier to open?
There's literally no need for that plastic to be so strong
It's like they fuckin' put gorilla glue on that shit
And it doesn't make any sense, it's a goddamn candy cane
Not a strength test
All I'm saying is, make these candy canes
A treat for the holidays, not suffering and pain
Although there's something else there is to complain
Why are these stupid candy canes so fucking sticky, explain
Why are the candy canes so fucking sticky?
Explain, why are the candy canes so fucking sticky?
Explain, why are the candy canes so fucking sticky?
Explain, why are the candy canes so fucking sticky?
Explain
One-one candy cane
One-one dy-dy, dy-dy-dy
Cane-cane, can-can-cane
One-one-one-one
Dy-dy-dy (one)
Dy-dy-dy-dy-dy (cane)
Cane-cane-cane, so much pain
Pain, pain, o-o-o-o-o-o-one
Candy cane
How to open a candy cane without breaking the wrapper
I thought it would be easy but then I realized
That it's a lot fuckin' harder than it looks
Why do candy canes need to be packaged like this?
Try to take off all the plastic, it eventually splits
And when I think I'm doing good, and think that I have excelled
The wrapper folds in upon itself
Like, what the fuck?
I need to open my candy cane
But the wrapper on this thing is so insane
Why does it have to be so much pain
For a candy cane, someone explain
One-one candy cane
One-one dy-dy, dy-dy-dy
Cane-cane, can-can-cane
One-one-one-one
Dy-dy-dy (one)
Dy-dy-dy-dy-dy (cane)
Cane-cane-cane, so much pain
Pain, pain, one, one, one-one-one
Candy cane
Just learned a opening technique that I found
I get it out, then I drop it on the ground (oh, goddamm it)
To open candy canes is my only wish (but)
I'm such a clumsy, butterfingered bitch (yes you fucking are)
I need to open my candy cane
But the wrapper on this thing is so insan-an-an-an-an-ane
Why does it have to be so much pain
For a candy cane, someone expla-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-in
One-one candy cane
One-one dy-dy, dy-dy-dy
Cane-cane, can-can-cane
One-one-one-one
Dy-dy-dy (one)
Dy-dy-dy-dy-dy (cane)
Cane-cane-cane, so much pain
Pain, pain, one, one, one-one-one
Candy cane
Don't you think that life would be a whole lot easier
If candy canes were just a whole lot easier to open?
There's literally no need for that plastic to be so strong
It's like they fuckin' put gorilla glue on that shit
And it doesn't make any sense, it's a goddamn candy cane
Not a strength test
All I'm saying is, make these candy canes
A treat for the holidays, not suffering and pain
Although there's something else there is to complain
Why are these stupid candy canes so fucking sticky, explain
Why are the candy canes so fucking sticky?
Explain, why are the candy canes so fucking sticky?
Explain, why are the candy canes so fucking sticky?
Explain, why are the candy canes so fucking sticky?
Explain
One-one candy cane
One-one dy-dy, dy-dy-dy
Cane-cane, can-can-cane
One-one-one-one
Dy-dy-dy (one)
Dy-dy-dy-dy-dy (cane)
Cane-cane-cane, so much pain
Pain, pain, o-o-o-o-o-o-one
Candy cane
Credits
Writer(s): Logan White
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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