Dependence Day

I'm unloading and reloading neurotically
For the auto autopsy, auto lobotomy
The weight of this bullshit world on top of me
And there is nothing stopping me
Turns out I'm a closet sadistic
Keeping all my secrets on corroded VHS
But I'm trying to stick out my neck
And live this shit life to its best
But the blade comes down
You know what's coming next
I'm holding up my own severed head

If I was robust as a hydra
Who knows which splitting skull would have the stupid thought
Of growing ever stronger with damage
So I welcome the coming onslaught
But then why can't I seem to block
This innate desire to give a flying fuck
It's just my luck that I would get stuck
Sucking this cock like a two faced slut
And that's you

I want to break your teeth down your chain smoke throat
Past the esophageal cancer that I can only hope
Has passed the point where they can save you
It's a hard fucking nope
I need you to know that I would never fuck you
Not with a nine or a two inch pole
Even if you denigrate the things that I can control
Like bettering myself everyday
Instead of, say, killing as many cops as I can in a murder suicidal rage

It must be me that invites all the hellspawn
Not quite demon, not quite human
Truly alien, Saturnalian
With your head up your ass
Get it away from me

I lied when I said I was patient
With a slug up in the chamber I'm just waiting
For the cataclysmic asteroid
That can't come fast enough
And every day that it does not
Grows ever more appealing this abysmal fucking feeling
Of shooting myself in the mouth

Fuck it
I'll fucking do it

Fuck it
I'll fucking do it
Fuck you