Scarlett

I know anxiety lives in me
If I stay here will I lose my mind
I think I've already passed that time
Plagued by derealization feel like
I'm looking through a fucking glass
Feel like this ain't my body I'm just
In a dream will death wake me up

These drugs no they don't mean
Shit when this body doesn't feel even real
Can't keep up a fucking job it
Feels like I'm just blessed with bad luck
Try to explain it to someone but they don't understand
Like why can't I be normal for a second so I can feel human

My body on this cold concrete no furniture fucking around
Convinced these shadows on the
Walls are out for me till I'm the ground
Take a step back id like to realize
That I'm ok it's just my perspective
It cus feels like I'm living in my skull like
Nothing is real and this is all a dream

Till I take my life and I wake up
Maybe then ill be happy in this place
My psychologist doesn't get it
No amount of therapy can change what I feel
I tell my mother that I'm ok
That I'm just going through a rough patch
This is my reality, ill fake a smile and say that I'm fine

Floating above this city
If I let go will I suddenly fall then can I wake up
To me, this place isn't pretty
I feel disgusted when I see myself suicide's not enough

There's a constant battle in me
Gravity has given in hear the wind roaring as I collide
With the concrete end it quickly
My eyes snap open breathe heavy, every time I die I wake up

Every time I die I wake up
Every time I die I

This time I'm just fine running away
And I'd sell my soul just to better the days
I never get a hold of this, I throw it away
I never know what to say, I make the same old mistakes

I been playing in traffic with my emotions and
I'm closer to a rope than I been in a fucking minute, oh
Every time I think I'm getting better, I end up fucking sendin'
Now I'm back to the motherfucking beginning tho

Can't sleep and I can't wake up
"Life's tough, get a helmet and, shit, man up"
I been stuck and I'm spinning my tires up in the mud
Going nowhere fast, the ash floating over the sun

My body on this cold concrete no furniture fucking around
Convinced these shadows on the walls are out for me
Till I'm in the ground
Take a step back id like to realize
That I'm ok it's just my perspective
It cus feels like I'm living in my skull
Like nothing is real and this is all a dream

Till I take my life and I wake up
Maybe then ill be happy in this place
My psychologist doesn't get it
No amount of therapy can change what I feel
I tell my mother that I'm ok, that
I'm just going through a rough patch
This is my reality, ill fake a smile and say that I'm fine

Floating above this city
If I let go will I suddenly fall then can I wake up
To me, this place isn't pretty
I feel disgusted when I see myself suicide's not enough

There's a constant battle in me
Gravity has given in hear the wind roaring as I collide
With the concrete end it quickly
My eyes snap open breathe heavy, every time I die I wake up