Embarrassed

Having the time of my life
My head out your sunroof
The streetlights reinforce the night
You're driving donuts outside my job
I wouldn't mind getting fired in the morning light
You lay down with me in this twin bed, there's no room to make room
Fingers twirl at the back of our heads
The lips close whatever distance is left
But hey, where you goin
This asteroid didn't miss
Isn't it me you want to spend the end of time with
You've been planning for winter, yet our season hasn't died
And not one time did you ask me to change my life
And you already know how my friends make me feel lonely
And the dreams I aspire feel like they don't want me
And sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough even for me
Now you've gone and made that hurt feel universal
And now the leaves are turning red
And I'm reminded of when your nose bled
And I raised my shirt kissed both your eyelids
Cut out the stain, immortalized in a picture frame
Yeah I whisper, I whisper
And it'll be a new year and I want to quit my job more than ever
The ghost in the parking lot does not care for a seance
You've poured gasoline on top the final fire work
This is gonna leave a mark
So is summer still tethered in the kissing of pinkies
Or do we only see each other in the light of a gun fire

Tell me there is nothing left up on the room
Tell me that the empty parking spot is the proof
Any alcohol gets to my lips and it'll jumpstart my bloodstream
Then it's you, you, you, you
When I'm given birthday cake it just makes me sick
Torturing my nights with the playlist we cultivated
I remember and I want more
I'm just keeping it warm, I'm still keeping it warm
And I know you'll hear every word of these songs and say why did I just take it so damn personal

Now I'm embarrassed
Embarrassed
Now I'm embarrassed
I put my heart into this love, but the distance proved too much
And I'm embarrassed
Embarrassed
Now I'm embarrassed
I spoke of you so much, they'll think I lied and made you up

And I'm embarrassed
Too much static blew the bulb
Don't you feel the voltage
You were my whole life, but you live life like a goldfish
Almost put that dark wet ink against my skin
Thinking it would lead to more things being permanent
Tried your dad's cigarettes
I feel you for a moment
Ran into your friend and on my shoulders was the elephant
Hold your pictures to my chest
This I can tell no one
Yes, I'm embarrassed
Upgrade these bad habits into a ritual
Glancing at the window
Praying it reveals a glimpse of you
Taking any offer I can get to be united
I will reveal
I still sip from the waters that you didn't finish
Bringing you to me
Fulfill the kiss
Can't forget the cheeks, the knuckles and the forehead
Now it's like
When you get older and get bombarded with the old shit that you did
And now you're just embarrassed

Embarrassed
Embarrassed
Now I'm embarrassed
Now I'm embarrassed
Now I'm embarrassed