Spectrum~

My boy just blessed me with an amulet
No, I couldn't handle all the feelings I felt
That I thought I had shelved

I was going through hell
When you met that me in that three-person mosh pit
At that Monster Truck show
I'm a much better person now and that's thanks to you
But it's scary when I open up and see that the bottom isn't there
I can stare into it forever and it show me I'm scared
Of loosing what I thought I'd never have

We just need the space to falter and be different
A little awkward or loud or quiet or rigid

But really, I regret the times when I held back from leaning forward
All the times I wanted to kiss you or just hold your hand
And I didn't, frozen in fear and anxiety
Years pass and this kind of grief lasts
And latches onto you
Awkward moments responsible for pushing further
Uncomfortable

Raised to see gay as a whole thing
Wrapped in hot, sticky shame
Struggle maintaining ourselves In moments where we came
A little close to the fluid border But had to refrain?
The chains of conditioning dug deep in your veins
It kills to pull away

And it's hard
Frustrating when we ain't even got nothing to blame
Just a system of shame that's been weighing down on our brains

How I'm gonna tell you that I love you?
It's only moments like when it's late at night
And we've had a couple of things to drink
Or maybe some molly opening our eyes
You turn to me and you tell me you love me
But it feels a little different this time
You kiss me on the head and you hold me real tight
Your eyes are watery and red
And I see you've been cryin'

You tell me that you love me in a way that hits me deep inside
I love you too
Like really, I love you
I'm, I'm in love with you

Never met anybody like you