love's trajectory.

Below my surface
Got no idea where the earth is
My soul sold for nothing
That's when voices birthed in
Curtains closed, my words worthless
Don't abide to what I preach truth be told
And I'm certain
Nothings waiting for me just soulless words
And lost cries of birds feeding me into the curb
Forget what I learn for bleak days
And empty crates I create from what I play
Feel like carving a new scar
Feel like destroying my own star
Feel like going back to the start
She read me my cards yet what fell was the love from her heart
Played me for the fourth, still don't know what she wants
I see it every time her iris looks across
She's not into me 'cause I'm not exactly what she'd call love
But I love her pretty lies
I love when she mistreats my deeds bringing me close to the demise
How many times do I have to say goodbye?
How many times do I have to stay alive?
This is not my life
This just isn't fine
I just spit these rhymes, I just waste my mind
Expecting something up from nothing in my time
Emotional instability
Closed my book now I lost my destiny
Found identity in grief
Lost and found upon release
Punctured wounds own my soul, and I lost my lease
Someone intervene
This cry isn't meant to be discreet
How much red do I have to bleed just so I can breathe?
Do I have the vision in me or is it that no one wants to see?
I don't wanna be forgotten
But I have no choice cause I'm rotten
This is peace
This is liberty
And life is nothing but my ending trumpet
And how many bitches do you look at in a day?
I can see it in your eyes that all you do is stare
And I just watch your glares
I can see your prayers
I can see despair when you look at me and you say you care
Don't dare say you love me when not once I felt it there
You can talk to god, now go up them stairs
Do you see me bleed?
Or are you glad I'm out your hair
Fuck your love, fuck your beauty
Fuck everything you said to me
This is it, motherfucker