I am not a Man

Walking down the street
People that see me
Or do they even see me
I mean the real me
I don't even know
Cuz I'm so stuck up in my own head
And When I leave the house
I gotta change my clothes like
Four or five different times
Cuz I don't know if I
Go to the Plaid Pantry in a skirt
If someone will want to fight with me about it

Wish you could see me as I am
See me as a friend
See me as a lover
I'm not under cover
I just want to be free
To be exactly as I am
Because I am not a man
And I am not a woman
I'm just a person
Who needs love and understanding
I just want to be
free to be
exactly who I am

If gender is performance
I am just an actor
Not a very good one
Not winning and Oscars
So I'll keep my head down
And not try
To look you in the eye

Wish I could wake up tomorrow
And everything was different
Did all the hard stuff
And now my body's perfect
This slow transition over time is really
Driving me insane
But until that time
Maybe when you see me
It'll make you smile
Just know that I'm doing
The best I can
With what I have

One of my favorite things these days is to
Catch my reflection out of the corner of my eye
Or maybe I'm walking down the street
And I'll myself in a storefront
Or looking out a window
Especially if it's partially fogged up
Or a little bit hazy
I can't see all the imperfections and all the pours
All the rebellious facial hair that I miss
And for a moment it almost seems perfect
It almost seems like
how I see myself when I think of myself
And it gives me a little hope
Makes me think that all of my goals are achievable