Father In Heaven

Dear Father in Heaven
I appreciate all of Your blessings
I appreciate that I'm alive and healthy, but I need to start a confession
I appreciate that You've arrived to help me, but sometimes it just seems like it's all a deception
See I thought that I was promised Your all, but when we talk every night You just aren't as present
You ignore, it's offending
And to be honest all i wanted Dear Lord was attention
How can a father just go to war with his children?
See I call You my father in heaven cause when I was one u actually took my father to heaven
Took my mother to hell and back
All of the yelling, screaming and crying
Defiant cause we caught in this web
In fact, the devil made some offers for my soul and I'd be lying if I told You I haven't thought of accepting
This is a devil's world, we praying to You for what?
My boy's still in a coffin, my cusin's still shooting up
My mother's still broke as hell, and all of us losing trust
Surrounded by lies and deceit, ain't that truth? What's up?
You try to feed me dreams here or something?
Bring me so close, what You like to tease me or something?
The biggest artist in the world called me up and showed me mad love
Told me I'm "fucking phenomenal", then he passed up
I mean, that's just shady, Father
C'mon, why you tryna play me, Father?
Fucking with my head thinking that's gon' make me quit
Well i got news for you Father, I ain't falling for that shit
These are facts, You explain nothing
Why don't You ever talk back to me? say something
Show us whatever empathy that You can find G
I'm just holding my last breath, don't mind me
See You tell me to love, does that truly make sense?
You tell me to trust, but I refuse to make friends
I've been betrayed and abandoned, in my planet that's nothing small
And You tell me I'm supposed to forgive 'em? Nah, fuck em all
So many times I weeped for You Father
But if You're the Sheppard why You lead us like sheep to the slaughter?
You outta, Man, I need to calm down
Forgive me Father, I'm really lost, wow
See I promised to stay faithful, my lady remained grateful
But then You went and hit me with "Girls Gone Wild "
The live version I mean, it's just part of my manhood Father
You say it's wrong, but that pussy so damn good Father
You ever had a bad bitch 69'in her friend while u up in it with no condom again?
Well, I highly recommend
You should try and tell a friend
I'm easily guilty of 8 of the "Seven deadly sins"
Man, I'm high as hell again
Your own son was turning water to wine and getting bent
So this chronic heaven sent?
I'm saying though... Ain't that for real yo?
Like You kicking me when I'm down, with a steal toe
Or You give me the run around when I'm praying to You, it's actually funny
Cause all they do in church is ask me for money
Plus the pastor is touchy
Man it's getting only worse
I'm lighting candles at a holy church with money from a stolen purse
So confused don't even know what's worse
Don't know what to believe anymore, I'm cursed
Or am I blessed?
If You're there let me know, like shoot me a text!
Cause I thought that You up and You left
But if You haven't, please don't give up on me yet
Stuck in hell, no way out and
I still hope that I'll be finding You
But this fire isn't dousing
So forgive me for what I'm about to do