Not Used To

Not used to being judged
You look at me, I feel naked, naked
You tell me that I've grown fat, that I have to change it, change it
But I feel good in this body
I shouldn't worry about that when I'm 14
Then you put me on the scale (put me on the scale)
You need to lose weight
That's what you told me, I cried
I barely had time to breathe (barely had time to breathe)
All night until morning i cried
"It would be nice if next summer you were ten kilos less"
Then you left
First time I feel anxiety
First time I find myself too fat
First time I see you in my mirror
Last time I felt happy for four years, for four years
Two months later
Ten kilos less (ten kilos less)
You tell me it's better
You find me prettier
Nine months later
40 kilos less (40 kiloss less)
I'm lying down, down, down
In the hospital
That's what I see
I can only hear you
That bad little voice
That keeps me away from you, that keeps me away
That's what I see
I can only hear you
That bad little voice
That keeps me away from you, that keeps me away
First time I feel anxiety
First time I find myself too fat
First time I see you in my mirror
Last time I felt happy for four years, for four years
First time I feel anxiety
First time I find myself too fat
First time I see you in my mirror
Last time I felt happy for four years, for four years
Dad doesn't understand me anymore
Mama cleans up the mess
My friends walk away
Just me and that reflection of you