Because of You

Look
I'm lying in the dirt because of you
I'm lying wide awake in my room because of you
My pillow soaking wet
There's pain inside my chest
My face is all swollen from the bruises that I get
From you
I'm trying so hard to be the perfect son
I know your love isn't free you say it must be earned
You say it must be
Why did you bring me to this world
When neither of you were ready
And both of you never wanted to
That shit was like putting a target on my back
Telling people to shoot
And telling me that I was bulletproof
You coming home from work early it's crazy
I don't even know what I should say to you
But I'm doing well in school
My position number 2
But 2 out of 200 is not enough for you
No, I'm still living life
Yeah, I'm still telling jokes
Yeah, I'm hiding my pain
And nobody knows that
Deep down inside
I'm losing my mind
I'm losing the will, will
To stay alive
It's easy to see that
The expectations
You placed on me
Are weighing me down
And I cannot think straight
I need my own space
I need to let go
And find myself
I'm lying in the dirt because of you
I'm lying wide awake in my room because of you
My pillow soaking wet
There's pain inside my chest
I must be heartbroken from all the things that you said
To me
I'm trying so hard to be the perfect man
I know your love isn't free girl it must be earned
I know your love isn't free why must it should be earned
I know your love isn't free why must it should be
You told me all the lies and I believe them
You told me you would never ever leave me
I believed you
You told me we would work on each and every single issue
You told me he was just another friend it's nothing special
You filled my head with thoughts I never had when I was single
And now I'm overthinking mentally I'm so unstable
I tried to leave you pulled me back I really wasn't able
To let you go, I should've known the games that you were up to
I didn't
And now im suffering the consequences of my actions
All the signs were there, they were loud I should've listened
You were never present, I loved you but you were past tense
Even when we kissed i felt like there was something missing
Absence, really made me miss you and crave you
It's crazy
Knew that you cheating but I still called you baby
Even when I saw you in his dad's white Mercedes
That White Mercedes
And Now
I'm lying in the dirt because of you
I'm lying wide awake on the floor because of you
And I don't have a pillow
My teeth is black and yellow
No I dont have no family or friends that I can lean on
I try to be a model citizen
But I can't do it
While you think I'm guilty before the judge prove me innocent
I wasn't Innocent just because of my appearance

Everybody get watin e dae go through
So way yu see posin dae pan e yone
If u nor get advice for the posin or able help the posin
Nor go sidom dae talk dis n dat bot the posin
Some man if badat n congosa dae kill posin lek e done kill tay
Kine lek me so deh done deal talk shit bot me bot ah nor really care
See, ah dae smoke weed, ah dae drink,
Ah dae try pan book learning bizness
Ah nay smoke kush, or any of deh other
Stuff deh bot people dem always
Dae assume the worst
People always lek for tok negative things dem
Dan dae all kin cause depression n for make
You doubt you sef n be ooda you nor be
So Watin ah dae try for say is if you
Nor able help posin just lef am normor



Credits
Writer(s): Justice Anis Rahall
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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