Lost Winter

Mama I ain't feeling too right
I ain't slept since last night
I been freaking in my mind, right?
I don't know if I got the words to be saying, right?
I been struggling for meaning, hope I fly right
I can't look my father in the eye, this ain't right
I ain't know who I am, pull the standard fight

Winter where my pain and trauma lay
Winter where my demons never seem to go away
Winter always tryna get me while I'm feeling fake
Winter always make me slip and make me hit the fiend
Winter always tell me that I ain't on top of shit
Winter tell me that I'm cold and that I'm late on rent
Winter tell me that I ain't got nowhere left to fit
Winter tell me imma die if I fuckin slip

It's been too long, it's been too long, it's been too long
Since I been able to feel a warm one, in a moment
I've been tilling for months, too much trauma
I keep myself distant, I keep myself closed off
Now the Zemi rolled up, let the slide bowl us
Let the snow fall down, I just want a blizzard
I want to stand for, please just not a feel for

I'm a valley of contradictions I know it
I'm a valley of contradictions I know it
I'm a valley of contradictions I know it

(Oooo)
Winter where I never really seem to catch a break, never get away
Winter always tell me FMA, all day, telling me that I'm fake
Winter always want me, try to run me, I can't outrun me
Oh winter help me

I got too much trauma to be hanging in
Too much love, but I know winter sting
I got some words to be saying, I got some perspectives
Passing all my time and a looking for my demons
Tryna feed them, tryna fiend them, tryna defeat them
Tryna free them, tryna fuck them, but I can't beat them
But I don't wanna sate them
I ain't no safe den
I ain't no safe bet
I ain't no fake friend
Part of what you take back, every little hate there
How I wanna state that, why everyone hate that (Oh)

The winter make me feel sum different
The winter make me feel sum different
The winter make me feel like I can't trust no one not even me
The winter make me feel sum different
The winter make me feel sum different
The winter make
All of my demons around me

I wouldn't wanna fail them
I do it like I say, I want you weighing now
I'm tryna cop a steal while I'm male now (bruh)
I don't know how to function
I'm addicted to everything I ain't bluffing
I'm addicted to everything I ain't bluffing
I been down in my state and I fucking chop up my nostrils
And it fumbles, doing this lawful
I've done things more thoughtful
I've done some things awful
I've done some things wrongful
I've done some unlawful
I feel like if I fold, I know I'm a handful
I know that I struggle
I know that I fall down
I know that I'm humble
I know I'm not humble
I know I'm a liar
I know I'm a cheater
I know I'm a killer
I know I'm a leader

(I'm sorry, I'm sorry)

Winter, winter, winter
Winter, winter, winter
Winter, winter, winter
Winter, winter, winter
(Oohooo)
Oh, I know
Oh, I know
Oh I'm a liar
Oh I know
Oh I know
Oh I know
Oh I'm a liar
Yes I'm a liar
I blame the winter
Life's not getting easier