The Spottsville Monster

I was forced to be a believer
We lost sixteen chickens and a goat
A strange howling in the night
And a huge figure
In the pasture next door
The Spottsville Monster

A lone motorist on Basket Lane
A hairy ape-like a thing caught in the headlines
It reared up with an evil intent
Next to some trees and a small thicket
The Spottsville Monster

Gun toting ape hunters eager for the kill
Sheltering from the rain
In a long-abandoned barn
A huge hairy midsection
Short muzzle
Pointed fangs and strange red eyes
That frighten them to the soul
The Spottsville Monster

Midnight howling
In the western Kentucky bottomlands
The females are shorter than the males but
They also possess beards
Stocky build
Furry breasts
Short dank hair
Were they just hairy people
The investigator asked
No
The Spottsville Monster

They can run thirty-five to forty miles per hours
The Spottsville Monster
An investigator once found a large tooth
The Spottsville Monster
Either friendly or malignant
Depending on the content of your heart
The Spottsville Monster
Were they just hairy people
The investigator asked
The Spottsville Monster

Entranced
I go a-wandering
Floating about the grounds of ethereal mists
She's calling to me
She sings with all the beauty of the ages
Let us dance under the stars
Let us make these fools into gibbering wrecks
Just by being different
Or maybe
It was just local youths
With a discount coupon at the fancy dress shop