Hate Sex

You're stumbling over yourself again
While I'm picking flowers, I wish you had held
Does he love me, does he love me not?
You know that I don't get a say, no matter what

I never claimed to have it all together
Now I'm paying money, just like you honey
To air out the fog you left
I might get messy but you know I finish what I start
So don't act like I'm the one who tore this apart

I'm tired of the lying, I'm tired of the truth
And I'm tired of my need to talk to you like you're the best part of me
I'm just trying to be enough for you
Cause the first time I tried, you ran through my red light

It sounded like California on the other side of the line
Another phone call filled with tears
And a screaming in my head that tells me you're not here
And that tone that says you're still scared
Is it cause, you can't stay away?
Is it keeping you up, while you're saying my name in vain?

I'm tired of the crying, I'm tired of you
And I'm tired of the way I still talk to you
Does hating me feel good?
I'm just trying to be enough for you
Cause the first time I tried, I must've missed the punch line

I'll keep your pills in a locket, if you keep that picture of me hidden in your wallet
We pretend we're fine, but we're bursting at the seams each time
When you sleep, do you hear me cry?

I'm tired of the hate sex, I'm tired of your face
And I'm tired of the way you talk to me
Like you're disappointed I'm still existing
I'm just trying to be enough for you
Cause the first time we tried, it ended in an endless goodbye

I know you thought I'd end it by now
But I'm still here making you feel something somehow