Mistaken Butterflies

Mistaking anxiety for butterflies
Consumed by all the red flags and all the little white lies
Can't even look you into your eyes
And if you're wondering why I'm still here, just know I've tried
'Cause I've loved you way too long and I don't know
How do I leave when my past feels like home?

And how do I
Accept all these scars?
While you said that the world would be ours
Compared our love to the moon and the stars
And how don't you
Feel any remorse for your abuse?
Your vision of love was what you could use
Your control was strong, tied like a noose

Now I'm the one who's left hesitant to ever love again
I need to find myself again, how do I find myself again?
Your lust was never love, didn't ever care how I felt within
I need someone to grab my hand

Now mistaking butterflies for anxiety
I used to always love so loudly, now I'm loving quietly
God says love should never envy
I pray I find a love that stands out from society
'Cause I've loved you way too long, but I now know
I must let go to go rebuild my home

And so now I
Accept all my scars, there is no us and no ours
'Cause I'm tired of crying for hours
And so now you
No longer have power to confuse
For all the abuse, there's no excuses
Yeah I'm done allowing bruises

But now I'm the one who's left to try and find myself again
I'm helpless, I'm helpless
Afraid I've reached the bottom, need someone to grab my hand
Oh Lord, help me

And that's where I met God
Picked me up when I wasn't feeling strong
Didn't even need to stand tall
He loved me with my scars and all my wrongs
All He asked of me was to hold on
Even though my pain wasn't gone
So now I let my hurt out in my songs
And pray for guidance as I move on:
"Oh Lord, help me move on"