MMIII

I ain't ever use a needle
But I know the right dose
To make my mind doze
From the fact one day I'll be gone
I'll be nothing but prerecorded audio
Don't make this difficult
You and me ain't kinfolk
It's becoming clear
When what came out your mouth
I was a clown
For having faith
His text had nothing to do with me
For some reason, you decided to at me
Confronting you
Over the issue
Would've made you apologize
You're not a rude guy
But I feel in the back of your mind
I would seem overly sensitive
We made jokes that were insensitive
My incentive is to
Cleanse myself of all my sins
I committed now from back then
You knew I was wild as a freshman
I disconnected with that comment
And you my friend
I'm not trying to offend
At our age, we're young men
But this makes me look at you different
I don't know if should I feel bitter
I'm not trying to ruin your Thanksgiving dinner
It hurts you came at me cuz I follow a religion
The fact I was hurt, would you label me a woman
I kept ducking my emotions
Sorry the path I take
Requires faith
I needed hope
I wanted bad habits out of my soul
My worst year, 2019 but you wouldn't know
To think 2020 followed
2 funerals
My great aunt and grandma gone
I lost so much, gained nothing at all
It felt so wrong
I just wanna what's going on
Will this last long

I remember them teasing me
Pain isn't that hard to see
The halo on me
Is disappearing
As the light gleams
Things are not as they seem
This how it had to be
Since 2003

The full moon plays hide and seek in the clouds
I don't smoke that loud
Then answer me why
I feel so high off these lows
It goes to show
I have nothing to do
Running backwards in a loop
I thought changing directions
Was doing something but I wasn't
Too busy trying to reverse engineer my life
I fear to confirm that
I did my wrongs right
Did it even work
End it before it gets any worse
Sight fades to black
My vision starts to blur
10 years late to 93
Still tipping
Over the scale
Over the weight
That I might take
I wasn't involved
But I'm still at fault
I tried to make time
But it's 7:02
I know you in school
I apologize for the things I did and will put you through
I thought crying would relieve the pain
As the time wastes
I need to relocate
Is this vain
I'm trying to get your attention
But you don't seem to listen
All the calls I'm missing
I mean who am I kidding
I know that I did it
Regretting every minute
Stop giving me pity
When will it hit me
Deep thoughts tell me I'm the evil incarnate
My very existence haunted
The reflection screaming to off it
Let the vultures eat your carcass
Good intention taught us
You might lend your demon flowers
But this is how it has to be
As you let me speak
So I can see the scene
He's killing himself how do you not see it
On your hands is the blood he's bleeding
For my brethren, I will stop breathing
I'm a doubting Tom who's finna see Jesus

I remember them teasing me
Pain isn't that hard to see
The halo on me
Is disappearing
As the light gleams
Things are not as they seem
This how it had to be
Since 2003

I remember them teasing me
Pain isn't that hard to see
The halo on me
Is disappearing
As the light gleams
Things are not as they seem
This how it had to be
Since 2003