The Ballad of Dick Thadunkins

Hey I'm the detective who was assigned to this case
Hey man what's up
My name's Dick Thadunkins
I'm the detective Dick Thadunkins
Ah, Dick the Dunkins, huh?
Dick the Dunkins?
No no no no no it's Dick Thadunkins
Oh, my mistake
Dick Thadunkins
Got it
It's a sharp T-H
Yeah man my mistake
It's not a soft T-H
Alright man, alright
Dick Thadunkins
Yup, my mistake man, my mistake
It's the one that yeah ok
Ok

Anyway
I'm so fucking sorry to hear about what happened to the Tungsten King
He's the one who hired me
Oh me too, man, it's been a
Anyway
(Ok)
I'm here with my best officer
Uh Wendy
What's your name
I'm Wendy Capicola
That's right, Wendy Gabagool
Wendy Gabagool
Capicola
Alright
Officer Gabagool
Anyway

We're here to chase after the horrible Heebie Jeeber
You came too late
Where did he go?
He went out the secret escape
I don't even know where it is
Oh shit
I don't even know where the secret escape is
Oh fuck
He must be somewhere in the back
Alright, well we can take a look around
Don't worry about it
Don't worry, we'll take a look around

Do we have any I.D. on where he's from?
(No)
Need to figure out who this Heebie Jeeber is, I know he's
Hey I've got a piece of information that might help you out
(Oh ok)
(Oh tell us what it is, oh)
Actually, I think I'll keep it to myself
I have a score to settle with Mr. Jeeber
Ok well I'm gonna go look for the secret escape
You two have fun
I'm gonna do the important job now

Hey Mr. Tantalum King
Yeah man
I'm a big fan of your kingdom
Oh thanks man
Will you sign my badge?
Oh uh sure man
Will you sign my badge?
Yeah man, sure I'll sign your badge
You got a Sharpie marker or something?
Oh wait a minute I just got a page from Wendy
She found the escape
Well you better make haste and make chase
And don't make any mistakes
And fucking kill Heebie Jeeber I hate that guy
Okay
He killed my brother
Alright man I'm out
Alright