Thankyou I Guess?

So many friends none of them wanna deal with my bullshit
I don't even know why I deal with this shit
I don't even know why I just haven't quit
I do know one thing Imma take another sip
And tell you my story on why I'm so fucked up
Everyone around me just seems so stuck up
Cause when it gets quiet these thoughts get loud
My heart starts racing when I'm standing in a crowd
It all started with this one girl
My first love and she made my stomach start to swirl
I knew it wouldn't go well but wanted it to last longer
Fucked me up but it built my heart up stronger
Took me a couple months for me to realise
behind my back she was dming all these other guys
That ended real quick hearts didn't break even
I never thought love would be something I believe in

Cause you moved away
I stayed the same
Know that you promised you wouldn't change
It's probably just me, insecurity
Well lately I can't help myself

Now we fast foward to the present
Found another one became my antidepressant
Real quick found out shits getting real
From her I think maybe I need time to heal
And I know your mother didn't like me from the start
Waiting for us to fuck around and break each others heart
She fell in love with my music but she won't like this one
I'm sorry but all this pain can't be undone
Cause you broke me first after all the promises
Imma write my feelings I don't care what mumma says
I don't care if it hurts you
Never cared if it brakes you
Cause in a way you kinda fucking deserve it
You lowered my heart into a 6ft deep pit
It ain't my fault you have trouble to commit
And I hope you cry when listen to this

Cause you moved away
I stayed the same
Know that you promised you wouldn't change
It's probably just me, insecurity
Well lately I can't help but think